texting for dating

Texting for Dating: How to Turn a Phone Number into a Date

Asking for a date using texts


Why do some numbers you get to come to nothing… when you’re sure she was really into you when you met? Other times why does the girl you met at the bus stop, turn into a date that weekend? In this blog, I will talk to you about an important dating skill- texting for dating!



Of course, you feel frustrated when you put all that effort into approaching and the number doesn’t translate to date: so I decided to collate years of research into the ultimate Texting For Dating Ebook.

Let me just give you some quick examples of how text game can affect your ability to connect with women.

You may see some of yourself in these two scenarios…


How a great number can come to a big fat zero

You decide to go to a friend’s house party on Saturday. You see a cute girl across the room, who your friend has known since school. Next thing you know, you hit it off by teasing her about how much punch she’s drinking. Throughout the night you seem to spend most of your time locked into a conversation. You get her number early on (you both support Chelsea FC!) and when you leave you to think you should have kissed her.

A few days later you send her a text (you don’t want to come on too strong) and you get a response fairly quickly. Again you decide to leave it a while before responding. Soon you’re swapping texts every few days and a week passes. You’re not sure if she wants to meet up again so you procrastinate on asking her out- and kind of hope she’ll suggest something to you. Her responses become less frequent.

You panic so text more: and break the 1:1 text ratio. Lots of your texts are a little pointless and don’t have a purpose. By the time you want to ask for the date, the number is dead.


How a flakey number can end in a date

You see a cute girl waiting to get on a bus and you force yourself to go talk to her. She’s a little taken aback at first but warms up after the first minute. Then her bus comes. You push for a number, and after some understandable hesitation, she agrees. You send her something witty later that day, making reference to her bus journey and how random it was meeting her.

She responds with a short message the next day. You don’t have a lot of information to go on but instead of asking her a boring question that you don’t care about you decide to make an assumption statement about what she’s been up to.

Beautiful day today! You better not be stuck on the route 138 bus? I’m doing park + frisbee + ice cream & would highly recommend it…

You want to to try to build more of a connection with her and have an interesting discussion. You also hope by making a statement about her (& telling her a little about you) she’ll have enough information to respond to. It works- this time her response is more engaged. You then switch to teasing her and she responds even faster, teasing you back.

Recognising the signs that she’s getting more into you: you tell her that you think coffee tomorrow after work is a great idea. She agrees…


Be proactive while texting for dating

Your decision to take action (getting that number and asking for the date), the ability to keep the interaction interesting, reacting successfully to her, and going in for the date at the nearest possible opportunity are all so important for getting that date…

Don’t think it’s just a question of ‘did she fancy me?‘ getting to the date is a lot more than that. I’ve spent ages pulling together all my research as a dating coach to help you know what text messages work. As I understand how frustrating it is when you do all of the hard work of getting a girl’s number and it doesn’t translate into the date you deserve.

I pride myself on giving you high quality and detailed advice on dating so I hope this has helped!


P.S. If you want to check out my original text message collection and learn how you can write texts more effectively check my new ebook out: Texting For Dating.


Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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