the question

The question you should never ask her

Never ask her ‘how are you?

‘How are you’ is probably the most asked question in the English language… it is also one of the worst and the one you should never ask a potential date.

So before you casually ask a girl how she is on Tinder, or use it as an opener on a first date, I want you to think for a second, as this one harmless question could be getting your whole interaction off on the wrong foot.


1. ‘How are you?’ is a HARD question to answer.

It’s deceptive but as ‘how are you?’ is so broad it’s hard for people to distinguish how much information they should share with you. Should they tell you their day sucked, or will you judge them for that? This whole conundrum usually leaves people feeling like the only response they can give is ‘fine’… and you wondered why that conversation with her died out!

2. ‘How are you?’ is too generic.

You want to blow her mind right? Well, then there’s no point being so unoriginal! If you want her to have a specific memory of meeting an amazing man then say something impactful instead.

3. ‘How are you?’ allows people to ‘hide’.

Not ‘hide’ like hiding and seek ‘hide’ (that would be weird) but to go through a conversation without actually revealing themselves.

Conversations are a tool for self-expression and to find out WHO IS THIS PERSON.

So if you have the same conversation with them that she’s had a million times before, she is well practised and doesn’t have to say anything unique to you! And it will be harder for you to get a sense of who she is, and for her to see how you’re different from the other guys.

From now on I want you to skip out that rubbish conversation starter and check out the Hayley Quinn Club which is jammed to the rafters with useful information on how to create a conversation that is original, interesting, and easier for her to respond to.

To spike her interest, watch the video below to learn what to say to her!

Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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