christian grey

How to Avoid Christian Grey this Valentine’s Day

Christian Grey

Swarms of men and women will be going to the cinemas as 50 Shades of Grey goes on general release. And there’s no doubt that men will think that the Christina Grey ‘treat them mean, keep them keen’ approach is best when dating.

As sexy as Christian is, we can all see that Anastasia is in a bad space. As the infographic (below) points out to us, she is self-referential, going out and drinking a lot. Hardly Miss. Stability when it comes to dating; and whilst guys with helicopters (or more likely bunches of roses) are all well and good sometimes all that glitters isn’t gold and romantic gestures can cover up serious character flaws. 

So here are a few tips on how to avoid all those Christian Greys out there.

Romantic Fantasy

Society has always imprinted on girls to wait for their ‘Prince Charming’ or accepted that ‘Bad Boys’ will come and go. Either figure is just as challenging as each other.

This is because women have always been taught to passively wait for that romantic figure. So being aware of when you are susceptible to romantic fantasy (avoiding someone who goes out of their way to woo you before getting to know you) before showing adequate signs of trust is key in protecting yourself.

When a man is not getting to know you properly it feels unnatural and like Anastasia, you’ll soon feel bad about yourself for it. So sometimes the whirlwind romance is the one with the darkest undertones.

Beware of the empty gifts

This doesn’t mean you have to suspect every man who does all the traditional gestures, but just be a bit more aware of the reasons behind them. Is he trying to distract you? Is he trying to impress you? Or does it hide another area that he is failing in?

So for instance, a man who is buying you champagne, gifts (or takes you on a helicopter ride!) gives you the “wow factor”. It’s easy to feel swept off your feet. But you may be connecting to the gifts and not the person.

Great Relationships

A great relationship is not built on romantic fantasy; it is built on something more grounded than that. In the movie, eventually, Anastasia cannot ignore her dissatisfaction and yearns for a more rounded relationship.

So if you want to avoid disappointment, watch out for the Christian Grey guys out there who lure you in with empty gifts and romantic fantasy.

And as a side note girls: if you want to take the dominant role – then more power to you!

To be strong and avoid the Christian Greys out there, join my member’s club and ask me your questions!

Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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