Lack of Connection: He Doesn’t ‘Get’ You

That gut feeling of something is not right


Sometimes you’re dating the guy who has it all: he’s smart, funny, kind, sexy, not-afraid-of-commitment… but there’s just something missing. You struggle and struggle to like him because you know what a great catch he is on paper but you can’t shake the feeling that there is lack of connection or that he’s just not right for you.

When he looks deep into your eyes you can’t help but look away because you know you don’t feel the same. This can feel like an impossible decision between your head and your heart… should you stick with the guy who is giving you everything or go out looking for that elusive ‘x’ factor?

(Who from what you can tell so far probably doesn’t exist FULL STOP).


The key to this isn’t in fact:

  • That this guy is just plain wrong for you.

  • That NO MAN can ever understand you.

Maybe it’s because you’re worried that if he did understand you he wouldn’t like what he sees?

Maybe you want to be the right woman for him than instead of stepping back and thinking about whether he’s good for you you’re too caught up in ‘playing the role’ of the perfect girlfriend.



All these points come back to the lack of CONNECTION – without a deep and proper connection with a man you’re right he’s only going to see one side of you.

And yes he may just enjoy having this nice woman in front of him but never truly get who you are… and in doing so you won’t be able to love him. His inability to understand you may not be all his fault though… what have you tried to see if he can connect with you.


Have you:

1. Spent long enough with him for these emotions to develop once you trust him more?

2. Used VALUE STATEMENTS to let him know through anecdotes about your life, who you are?

3. Invited him to share in your life and the activities you love?

If not this is where you can start… not everyone will connect with you but you want to give the right guy the best chance possible to do so. And if you do walk away, you want to do it with a clear conscious that you made the right call.


Hayley x

P.S. If you would like to talk to me about creating a connection with people you date, make sure to schedule your session with me today!


Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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