Men don't think

Men don’t think the same way we do

Men are from Mars?

It is universal knowledge that women and men don’t think the same way. Let’s consider the following scenario as an example.

You know how when you meet a guy (even if it’s for 15 seconds) you can sometimes drift off into a daydream world where suddenly you’ve met again.

The sun is low in the sky, you run off down a deserted street, he pulls you into an alcove and kisses you.  The sun rises and falls again and you’re making love, legs tangled and birds flying in the sky outside of the window.  And then you’re married! You went for a registry office in Hackney to be cool, and he’s looking into your eyes and…


I’m actually laughing as I write this because I do this so much myself. But men don’t think this way!

This isn’t how they work at all.

Which is why when they screw up by:

a. Not making a move.

b. Not having thought to introduce you to their in-laws.

c. Not having made plans to run away with you to Malta.

You shouldn’t panic! The male mindset is a lot more immediate – as women, we project into the future (Caitlin Moran brilliantly called this our relationships ‘algorithm’ to work out which guys are suitable for us).

If your fantasies are anything like mine they always end up involving some kind of Holy Trinity of an exotic destination, true love and great sex.

To match him more at the start of the relationship try your best to hold your horses on this. Do the annoying ‘take it day by day’ thing. When you judge his actions by today and not by how your future perfect husband would behave he may not seem so bad!

If you want to learn more about how men think, have a look at my new digital program designed to give you an insight into the dating process of men. Learn more about UNITE here!



Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
Back to Blog