slept with him

You slept with him on the first date, now he’s cooled off

Sex happens

Sometimes sex happens fast and rampantly. Usually, this is actually quite a nice surprise compared to slow and tentative/ ‘might as well because we’re here now’/ ‘boy that was awkward’ situation. But, I can understand that you might start panicking if you have slept with him on the first date.

When sex happens fast and it’s because you really like the guy it can drum up a lot of ‘oh no! now he will think I am easy’ style feelings.

It can make you feel awkward the next morning. You may worry if he’s going to call and then over analyze his post-match behaviour as signs of him ‘cooling-off’.

Largely this won’t be right. Any guy worth having will want to get to know you better- or if the sex was awesome at least explore that connection further.

Your job is not to blush and say, ‘I never normally do that’, but to be a woman you are proud of and to let him know you’re cool with what’s you’ve both done so far… but you want more.


This doesn’t make you needy, this makes you strong and cool

So on date 2 make sure it’s a real date on your terms. Don’t jump straight to one another’s houses, go do something, let him know just because you’re comfortable in your sexuality doesn’t mean he can get away with not wooing you.

What if there’s an elephant in the room?

What if you think he’s cooling off?

What if you feel like things have accelerated so fast that you have no comprehension of any of the details?

You need to ACKNOWLEDGE IT and MOVE ON. 

Put him on the back foot (nicely) by letting him know you’re unfazed, confident and now are looking to him to up the ante.

‘So seeing as I’ve already seen you naked, tell me something I wouldn’t have guessed about you.’

 ‘If this the last time we see one another…I want to walk away knowing something fun about you…’

‘So you’ve seen me naked, and I have seen you naked, where do we go from here? (pause) I was going to suggest the movies…’

Be PLAYFUL, COMFORTABLE & speak to him like the exemplary woman you are.

If he walks away from that meeting think ‘wow how in the hell did I pull her?’ = ideal result.

To be that strong, sexy woman that he and (most importantly) YOU require the head to the Club to join my crowd of awesome women, discovering dating on their terms. And remember, just because you have slept with him on the first date does not determinate the rest of your relationship.

Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
Back to Blog