Is he's ready to start a relationship?

April 20, 2015
▪ 2 mins read

3 signs that will tell you if he is!

Let's talk about him and if he is ready to start a relationship. I am going to preface this by saying I am a huge believer that if you're the 'right' woman for him (and by that I mean that he sees you as rare and amazing) even the most commitment-phobic man comes around.  

However, there are certain life circumstances that make a guy ready to commit. I know this as I see a big difference in the guys that come to me - they tell me they *want* a relationship and are willing to work to find their perfect woman. Who knew.  

So signs!

1. He feels GROUNDED and STABLE in other areas of his life.

Men's sense of self and esteem are very sensitive to fluctuation in the career zone of his life. So if he's not earning the money he wants, doesn't feel stable within himself, etc then he's unlikely to feel like he can be that strong, provider figure for you. It doesn't mean he'll never get there - but rather than willing him on to grow up, it's usually best just to accept he is who he is right now.

2. He can think further forward than the next ten minutes.

Guys are great planners of their lives in a way that is very different from women. Women tend to project more into the future (imagining that holiday to Sicily in the summer with the cute guy you just met) etc. However, when men feel ready to move into their nesting phase they treat it like a mission statement has arrived at their door saying 'now- find a wife- you have 6 weeks'. He will see meeting the 'one' as part of a linear phase in his life. In this space he'll be more open to plans, showing you his digs, introducing you to friends/ family, as he'll see you as relatable to him.

3. He naturally aspires towards relational goals.

Our upbringing means a lot to everyone and there are some guys out there who see a wife/ kids in their life: and others who imagine something like a Hugh Hefner party on loop as an aspirational goal. Dig down to find these values early - as they're generally slow to change. Even if he does meet someone drop-dead awesome.  

Did you know I have an awesome members Club where you can learn everything there is about dating and relationships? Join now and find out if you are ready to start a relationship!

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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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