fear of rejection

Get Past Your Fear of Rejection (You Only Need to Change THIS)

Are you worried if you make a move, she’s going to reject you?

Has the fear of rejection stop you from taking the action you want in the past? Or is it getting in the way of your dating life today? Today I will tell you about three ways that your fear of rejection will get in the way of you taking action.

At the end of the blog, you can read about a mindset shift that you can make to help you to feel differently about rejection. Let’s move forward and take the action to fix this.

But before we get there, let’s look at three ways that that fear of rejection can get in the way of meeting her.

 

Often that fear of rejection leads to procrastination.

When you see someone you like, you talk yourself out of saying hello. You delay making a move on someone and you end up becoming their friend? That delayed reaction caused by the fear of rejection will result in missed out opportunities.

Here’s the thing- no opportunity stays the same way forever. If she is open to dating you that day or that week, this is not going to be a constant state. If she’s open to dating, she will go ahead and meet somebody else.

Unless you make your move, there’s going to be no way of knowing if you could have had that experience with her. The opportunity will close down and the fear of rejection will drain your mental energy.

Hypothesising all the bad ways that this interaction could turn out.

You could worry that if you approach her, the guys next to her are going to see you and start judging you. Or she’ll slap you in the face or feel offended by what you say that you are not able to think of anything to say at all.

This starts to train your mind to focus on small chance negative outcomes, rather than all the positive ones that could happen.

Apart from getting a date with her imagine if you had a nice conversation. Perhaps you felt that boost of confidence from knowing you could talk to a woman. Imagine if the guys you were so worried about judging thought, “Wow, good on that guy. He’s got real balls.”

Imagine what message you could send to yourself about what you can do. It’s all about learning that there aren’t only negative outcomes. Some positive outcomes could come from you taking this action.

 

Setting up a precedent

The final way the fear of rejection gets in the ways of you taking that action is about setting a precedent. It’s not really about any woman. She could be a friend, someone you already know, an attractive woman you see at a bar- it doesn’t matter. It’s about the message you’re sending to yourself.

Every time you allow yourself not to take any action, you are adding links to a chain. Eventually, this behaviour will become normal to you. You will shrink more and more into your comfort zones.

I want you to instead take different actions. Being able to communicate and interact with her is going to help send a much more positive message about what you can achieve.

Changing your mindset

So what is the mindset shift that’s going to help you to see rejection slightly differently and stop it from getting in your way? Well, it all comes down to not making it about her but you.

When you focus on the fear of rejection, it’s all about that one woman. This could be a woman with who you’ve had feelings for a while. Maybe she is someone you saw in the coffee shop. Either way, you’re pinning all your hopes for your dating life and all your potential onto the outcome of that one interaction.

There are so many women out there for you who can make you happy and who can give you what you want. Your job is to figure out how can you go about this process of meeting and discovering who those women are.

When rejection stops you from taking action, you may focus on one option for way too long. That option can then get in the way of you going out there and meeting all these other women.

 

Going forward

Remember, your highest goal should never be about winning one person’s affection. It should be about putting yourself in the place where you want to meet and connect with new people.

You are going to be an opportunity creator who interacts with women only to see what comes back. You’re going to develop high enough standards for yourself that you know, it’s not just an immediate yes for you. You could be attracted enough to her to send her a message on a dating app or to walk over and say hello, but unless she meets your standards in other ways, you wouldn’t want to move forwards anyway.

One of the many ways to move past your fear of rejection is to remember that it’s not about getting one outcome. It’s about realising that there are so many women with who you could develop relationships. The outcome you want is to be able to go out and connect and interact with as many women as possible in a purposeful way. Have a clear vision of your standards to help you figure out who is the best match for you.

In short, get past your fear of rejection by starting to understand it’s about identifying what your goals are, rather than needing a particular outcome from her.

Ready to say goodbye to the fear of rejection?

Book your consultation with me now!

Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
Back to Blog