For Men

How to meet women in real life (IRL) as a beginner

August 22, 2023
▪ 4 mins read

My definitive advice for beginners

There are many reasons why you might find meeting women in real life hard:  

You don’t know what to say, you’re worried about looking creepy...  

But recently the one that’s stood out to me is:

"...Am I too far behind to ever catch up?"

You might feel like you’ve already lost years of your dating life by never mastering meeting women; so much so it now feels too late to play catch up.  

In this blog I’m going to tell you one coaching hack that I use to teach guys who are beginners how to meet women in real life. PLUS I’m going to share with you how to access a free online training with me that I've specifically designed to help you start approaching - no previous experience required 😉

Here's the thing: If you consistently feel like you’re in relationships that are "convenient" and not in ones that you’ve chosen, you'll never be fully satisfied with your dating life.

Besides, provided you put the work in, social skills, approaching women in real life and dating the women you’d like is a HIGHLY COACHABLE area of your life.

Do you disagree with me?

Then chances are you’ve been trying to implement a learning, at the wrong stage of your journey with dating.

Let me give you a quick example...

Imagine you were trying to learn French as a complete beginner, then you met a fluent speaker who told you that "all you needed to do" was get a college degree in French and you’d basically know it.  

What would happen?  

You’d take one look at that exam paper, not understand a thing, and it would dent your confidence - possibly to the point you wouldn't keep trying to learn.  

With learning a language I hope most of you would assume it takes a long time of being submerged in a forge in culture to learn it fluently. You’d probably learn best when you had lots of practice, IRL, without feeling the pressure of needing to get it "perfect" right?  

Learning to become better at meeting women is no different. Watch a YouTube video that’s pitched at a different stage of your journey and you might feel a lot of pressure when you try to implement that learning. Pressure that can shut you down when faced with an attractive woman.

So if you’re not approaching women right now let me tell you what’s happening, and (importantly) how to start fixing it.

Here's where it goes wrong right now:

  • Interacting with a woman you find really attractive, when you’re not "used" to approaching women can feel INTENSE.
  • So intense that you get OVERLOADED and your system "jams" stopping you from using that great line you learnt from a YouTube video.
  • This FAILURE makes approaching women feel even harder, and creates a negative feedback loop where you don’t approach at all.

Let me tell you what you need to do instead.

Accept that meeting women is INTENSE (at the start, it gets easier with practice!)  

Anything that adds to that feeling of PRESSURE will lead you to OVERWHELM where you're not even able to talk to her "normally."  

So you want to FORGET (or at least not focus on) any information to do with meeting women that isn’t about the first step, which is walking up to her, and saying something.

You can say ANYTHING. You can leave after 3 seconds. But you have to condition yourself to walk up to her.

Now you might think, "but Hayley I need a plan for what to say. I don’t just want to walk up and leave..."  

What I hear from this is that you don’t want to be a beginner!  

You want that first interaction to be a success (I mean, who wouldn’t want her number?) But what I’m telling you is the way you become the guy who gets her number is that you focus on one step at a time...  

The beauty of this approach is that you can keep your mind focused. It’s SIMPLE and ACHIEVABLE.  

And once you’ve achieved one step, there’s another one, and another one, until suddenly you’re saying:  

"I’ve got to get to my meeting, but let me grab your number..."

The trick to getting towards your goals is about developing a good learning process.


If you’ve had limited experience with women, I especially don’t want this to stop you from taking progress anymore. In fact I LOVE to work with guys just like you.

To learn more about how you can meet more women in real life as a beginner, register for my free webinar on September 6th 2023 to learn my tried and tested coaching techniques to break through your hesitation and finally succeed!

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