how to tease

How to tease a woman over text

How to tease in 2021

With the new year already shaping up to have more lockdowns, I want to make sure that you know how to keep the flirtation alive with women you’re meeting. Also how to master your messaging and to tease her!

Are you worried that you lose out because your messages are too bland? Do you fail to express your standards? If all this is true and  you’re not playful this blog is going to help you. 

Most guys get teasing wrong because they either let a fear of rejection hold them back from saying anything. Or they model themselves on how another guy messages women. 

Do not let that fear of rejection censor you. Writing great messages to her is actually all about freeing your own self expression. 

I bet somewhere inside you there’s someone who is funny, witty and playful; but right now only your close friends see this? You need to unleash this beast 😉 

I get that’s not always easy! 

So I want to give you 3 easy examples to follow. With each I’m including a mindset because this isn’t about you cut and pasting your messages, it’s about you being able to write great messages YOURSELF. 

1. The Bubble Wrap Principle 

how to tease

Teasing is a GREAT way to communicate your standards to her in a playful way, that doesn’t sound wounded. 

 
In dating there will be times when you want to communicate that you have standards (in fact, doing so makes you much more attractive!) 
 
Yet, if you’re too heavy handed when you put a boundary done you step over the line from assertive/ sexy guy into ‘why does he care so much? I barely know him?’ 
 
You show that your feelings and expectations towards her are greater than the social relationship permits.

Here’s a simple example of this: 

I often answer follower’s questions on my Instagram. I do my best to get around to people’s questions. Sometimes after answering someone’s question they’ve got pretty annoyed that I haven’t been able to enter into continual direct messaging with them. 

This is an easy example of expectations being too great, and unrealistic for how well you know a person. It’s the same for how you interact with women.

Nothing screams, ‘you’re my only option so I’m holding on too tight!’ quite like getting overly annoyed at her, for say, not responding back immediately to a message you’ve sent her on a dating app. 

So firstly you need to keep your expectations of her in check until you know her better, and if you do want to express a standard you wind it back and always say it with a smile.

This is the bubble wrap principle. 

You acknowledge what you notice about her, but you do it in a playful way.

Say she’s always late you could say something like:

“I’ve got to remember to set your timezone for EST+15” 

“I’m coming to learn you run on your own timezone.” 

Both these comments also suggest that you are going to know each other in the future…

2. Be The Director 

how to tease

When communicating with a woman you don’t know very well you never want to be negative, mean or aggressive. Whether she likes you or not, spends time with you or not, replies to you or not, should never be that important to you.

Instead if you want to put across your standards in a way that teases her over messages, you should message her like you’re her coach. You have high standards, but you communicate these in a way that’s fun! 

An easy way to do this is by telling her a plan of how you’re both going to adjust things next time. Stepping up to help her is a very masculine, and attractive way, of communicating with her. 

Running again with the punctuality example you could say: 

“I need to get you one of those little gcal reminders.” 

“Making a mental note that on our next date I’ll have to show you the fine art of google maps.” 

Notice how each of these comments is SOLUTIONS based; that’s because you’re acting like ‘the boss’. 

3. Let Her Off The Hook 

how to tease

No one wants to be around someone who is too hard work, over-sensitive and makes them feel guilty. Women will flock to be around you if you have a grounded, masculine presence. 

You exude this when you communicate in a way that is solutions orientated and shows that whilst you noticed something wasn’t quite right (like that she turns up late for your date) that you’re moving on and aren’t going to let something minor get under your skin. 

“Okay putting a temporary ban on you apologising anymore … I’ll see you soon x” 

“Well luckily for you when I was thinking about my ideal woman punctuality wasn’t in my top 3 qualities..” (must be expressed very playfully!)

I could give you so many examples of how to playfully tease a woman, but once you can get into the right frame of mind about how to interact with women, the rest does become easy! 

How to tease women in text masterclass

I have another live masterclass session on messaging (and on how to tease through text) coming up on January 23rd at 16:00 UK time. To join in you have to be a club member, and you can also ask me your questions live 🙂

If you’d like to join in discover how to become a member here

And even if you can only meet women online, or message them from afar for now, let’s make the most of it and have a great 2021. 

Lots of love,

Hayley 

Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and contributor to yahoo!style.

Phone: +447517915854
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