Confidence Building
For Men

Three Signals She's Ready for the Kiss

May 21, 2012
▪ 2 mins read

Signals that the moment has come

I remember my first kiss like it was yesterday: and I wonder if it was like yours? I lunged in, got blown out, and found myself looking like a complete loser in front of an (underage) disco full of my school friends. (Later on that night I did eventually kiss the guy of my dreams after he took a 50p bet from his friends to kiss me. You know, the ugliest girl in school....but that's another cringe-worthy story!) I figured though, that whether you're 14 or 40, having some signposts as to when is the right moment to kiss a girl would probably be really useful! Because you know what? I hardly ever see guys getting blown out for kisses! What I do see is guys not going for it- because everyone remembers a time when the kiss didn't happen. And that feeling of getting REJECTED sticks with you like glue, doesn't it?

There is no foolproof formula to get a Kiss BUT these three signs are a pretty great hint


If a girl allows you to get close into her (like whispering in her ear, close) she's allowing you into her intimate proximity: this is probably the best indicator that she's receptive to you kissing her. During my seminars, I always teach this as a three-step process. The key is to move in slowly. Lunge in and you won't have communicated that you want to kiss her so she may be taken by surprise and jump back (cue social embarrassment!). Move-in slowly, and if she's not ready to kiss you, she will move out slowly giving you time to react and realise that you need to get to know her better before she's ready to kiss you.


Is she comfortable with you asking to look at her bracelet? Does she play a bar game with you? Has she allowed you to take her by the hand and lead her across the room? Then great news, she's complying with you. That sounds a bit evil but in fact, just means she is happy to follow your lead. And you know I'm going to suggest that the next move is for you to go in for the kiss!


A woman will feel a lot more comfortable taking things to the next level somewhere that is discreet. Sometimes she may help you to try and kiss her by suggesting that you move away from the main group... other times her friend's may take the hint that you're a great guy and leave you both to have some 'alone time'. Alone time is like a seal of approval: it clears the stage for you to make your move. These 3 steps are not a full-proof plan. As a man, they still require you to take a risk, to take action, to GO FOR IT. But if you're unsure when the right moment is mentally ticked off these three steps and if you get 3/3 use it as motivation to take that chance, because I believe if you do your RISK WILL BE REWARDED. ~Hayley Quinn x

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

Stay connected with Hayley
Newsletter icon
By clicking “Accept”, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyse site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Privacy Policy.