Listen to your instincts!

Your instincts are there for a reason


Hayley Quinn chats to Founder of ‘the Jewel Process’ Vanessa Kandyoti about listening to your instincts! They’re there for a reason! This podcast covers: 

  • Listening to your inner wisdom

  • Why your intuition knows best

  • Taking space to listen


The interview

Vanessa is an extremely successful jewellery designer. She has a beautiful jewellery line that I completely love. On a totally separate materialistic note. She also does a fabulous coaching practice called the jewel process. I met Vanessa years ago when I was teaching writing skills and creative writing. So we met in a completely different dynamic, where Vanessa was employing me to help her write some stuffe I think a CV or something like that.

We reconnected quite recently, because Vanessa listens to this podcast. How cool is that? That’s what I love about podcasting and about life, generally, sometimes you can meet someone in a completely different context, and then they will revisit at a certain point in your life. And when we got chatting, again, I’ve became quite interested in what Vanessa had to say about listening to your intuition. She works with loads of women, coaching the on a very deep level. Getting closer to what they want in a real, true, authentic way. She works with women and people who want to develop their own businesses, and become closer to their true selves. But you can probably describe that a bit better.



I work with the creative and spiritual women who want to start a brand. And what we focus on is not material. It’s manifesting that they have a successful business. Doing it in accordance with what their soul and their heart desires. These are women who don’t want an overly busy life, who just want to make a good living by working four or five hours a day and look after their children and be present for their husbands. So really, it’s about checking in with yourself, with your heart and soul first, and not so much trusting what your mind is. 



We were just chatting before we started recording about distrust your conscious mind might be telling you. And I think that goes, I always come back to that phrase, be suspicious of what you want. So often that first impulse coming from a deep and core level is correct. But then sometimes, especially when we put in a complicated scenario, we can enter into a bit of battle between consciously what you think is the right thing to say or the right thing to do versus what your instincts are telling you to do. 



I’ve learned from my own mistake, by manifesting everything my mind. I put it down on my to do list and did not fee happy about it. It felt really off path although I had manifesting everything I thought would make me happy. So I had to really take a step back, check in with myself, reevaluate my belief system. I thought when you manifest it’s meant to be. But it wasn’t meant to be. It had manifested but it was not what made me feel good. It was what looked good. What seemed good, but it did not make me feel good. So nowadays I really want to encourage myself, my clients, the people I’m around to be more presend. Disassociate what our minds are telling us through meditation, mindfulness, through cultivating the little flame inside of you, your essence- connect with it. 



And when you say, just for the women who might not have been aware of this, when you say checking in with yourself, what do you mean by that? What’s that process for you? What does that mean to you?



For me it means: Do I like that? How does it feel? How does it not feel? Do I have to do that? But do I like that?  And if it doesn’t feel good.

Sometimes you will have to do something that doesn’t feel good. But if you don’t really have to do it, just check in with yourself. Do I really want that? Is that what my soul wants? Is that what my heart wants? 



It’s about understanding and accepting what your reality is, as well. A lot of the time, you might speak to three friends and they all have completely different opinions about what’s the right thing to do. And particularly in a complicated scenario, I found this myself, this week with a romantic situation I was in- even I’ve been trying to not really date at all. Unless someone has got the potential to be my future guy. So for me to go on a date right now is a big deal.

Anyway, I thought I found someone that was perfect. This is what’s the conscious mind: what a box ticker. It’s everything on my list. When I met him, I literally I had that exact experience you’re talking about where it’s consciousness. I’ve manifested absolutely everything I want. I was  getting really good at this. But no matter how beautiful and amazing these dates were, and how much I enjoyed his company,  something just fell off.

It’s like an ephemeral feeling you can’t put down to something said or done. It’s just an intuition and instincts that something was a bit off. And something was.




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Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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