pick up artists

Does advice from pick-up artists work for women?

Interview with pick-up artists

I know you have an idea in your mind about pick up artists. They’re scummy, misogynists who probably know a card trick or two. Now I am not here to condone many aspects of the pick-up artist community. There are definitely some morally dubious characters out there writing up ‘lay reports’ about the women they’ve ‘seduced’. Men without respect for women, or rather any cognition of female sexuality or identity. BUT – and this is quite a big BUT – I think there are things you can learn from pick up artists.

Underground social skills

When I first started my career as a blogger in the pick-up artists community in 2010 it was because I wanted to infiltrate this world of sleazy men, and take it down from the inside: like a renegade mole. Apart from this being a really stupid idea, when I first starting getting to know some pick-up gurus and saw the men that turned up at their training events I was surprised that these weren’t evil men or lame men. They were (by on large) decent guys who wanted the most basic of things: human connection. Yes whilst some dreamt of dating a hot stripper who was a ‘10’ most wanted a woman to give them the time of day. Or to be in relationships they were happy in. Normal things. And hey there’s a time in most peoples lives when dating someone hot and with status seems like a good idea.

What was most exciting to me, even then, was the idea that these underground social skills technique could be used universally. That pick-up artists weren’t about anyone conning anyone else. They were about personal development, learning and creating a life of your choosing.

Project St. Tropez & Pick-up Artists

Fast forward 7 years. I wanted to revisit some of my roots in the pick-up artist world and give a well-balanced interview with some pick-up gurus: one that you could learn from.

I travelled to their basecamp – a glamorous beachside villa in St. Tropez. To give it its full moniker: ‘Project St. Tropez’. Here I met pick-up artists: demi-God Mystery, made infamous for his dating methodology in the best selling book ‘The Game’ and his co-trainer Beckster, a London based pick up guru specialising in ‘night game’. In true fangirl style, I got the chance to ask these pick up artists all the questions I’ve always wanted to know.

Especially about how feminism can possibly find some middle ground with the progressive dating techniques taught in the pick-up artist community.

In the interview I got to ask:

  • Can women learn anything from pick up artists?
  • Can women approach men?
  • Are pick up artists really bad?

I want you to watch the interview in full. Apart from being extremely interesting, it also gives you some clear techniques and mindsets that will help you improve your dating life.

The pick-up artists and I tell you why:

  • Love doesn’t find you. The universe helps those who help themselves to build the relationships they want.
  • It doesn’t matter who starts the conversation, as long as someone starts it, it’s not a big deal.
  • If you want a man to approach you, you have to get into the ‘Goldilocks Zone’ to make it easy for him to overcome his fear of rejection and say hi to you.
  • Idealistic ‘happily ever after’s’ is a bit like winning the lottery, it does happen but it’s rare. Most people work hard for contentment and their own version of success in life.

Pick-up artistry doesn’t just teach you how to ‘get’ people, it’s about ‘getting’, BUILDING the life you want. Not just accepting what falls into your lap. It is about taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of relying on a fairytale.

Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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