Real Love: Diet for love?

March 11, 2016
▪ 4 mins read

I speak to body transformation coach Jamie Alderton about why as women when we want to find a partner one of the first things we do is go to a 'quick fix' diet NOOOOOOOOOO (it doesn't work and we'll tell you why)

To diet or not?

Welcome back to another episode of Love HQ. I'm going to get you to look at love differently. And I am not talking about made up love text or how to get your ex back. Orhow to get the guy, catch the guy, and keep the guy. All those messages are wrong. They've been disapointing you all this time and I'm here to talk to you about real love. That's love for yourself! That's seeing the world the right way around, that's getting those great mindsets together. Today I'm joined by Jamie Alderton, also known a Jay to discuss diet for love.

The interview: Diet for love

Now, you started out as more of a body transformation coach, but you're moving over to helping people with their mindset.


My whole focus is on nutrition, training and mindset. But what I says to people- nutrition training can be taught quite easily. What you need to delve is the mindset. And being honest with yourself, trying to find out what your problems are, and look at the solutions to your problems


In that sense, we are quite aligned. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while I work on principles, which get your mindset in the right workplace. We get you to understand mechanisms on how dating and social relationships work.

On that note. Jamie has so many good mindsets and approaches to developing patience in relationship, to your outcomes when it comes to your love life, but also with your body. And how women approach this is really interesting. Just before we started out, you were mentioning Jamie, how some of your female clients have certain difficulties that you don't see with the men when it comes to weight loss and other goals.


A lot of guys can get away with being a little bit more overweight. Guys sort of shrug it off. But I find with a lot of my women clients, and it's not necessarily the women clients, it's the people around them that have the opinion of that. And a lot of women that I speak to have a lot more body issues. Confidence issues with their body. You know, I recently interviewed a plus size model Iskra Lawrence. She's got a powerful message to show that people need to be more confident in their skin.

I think the problem is that people go to extremes to make those changes. Be it nutritionally, be in their mindset. For a lot of people the problems that they have with nutrition is that they want the results now. So they think if they dropped three stone, that they're going to feel better about themselves, they are going to feel more confident, etc. When in reality, if you're extreme dieting, you're going to feel tired, you're going to feel stressed. And you're not going to stick to that regime, especially if it's extreme.

What will happen is that, although you might get a temporary solution, it won't be permanent. You'll end up putting that weight back on. So what I focus on, especially with a lot of people is identifying the problems that they have of nutrition and training, and try and find a solution for it rather than jumping into an extreme solution, and not resolving the problem in the first place. You'll find that a lot of the times with these meal replacement shakes that people drop a lot of weights. And unfortunately, it's not because of the shakes is because they've severely reduce the calories. But then if that is something that you can't consistently keep with for the rest of your life, then it's not the right thing to do.


Many years ago, I used to do fitness modelling and used to be a gym instructor. And when I was in that zone, particularly before I had to do a photo shoot, I did mad dice. I look back on it and think how did I even possibly survive? I just have a green salad, spinach, protein shake and a hard boiled egg. And you know what was funny? I actually experienced a crash at some point.

It's all the misinformation that we're told, first of all about body image and what's desirable, and then about how to go about it. To be healthy, you need work out and eat good foods that will make you feel great. But to get into that zone, where you have to achieve a particular physical type, in order to try and make yourself feel something about yourself, the work you have to do is in your headspace, it's in the mind.

To hear the whole Diet for love? episode of the podcast above! For some exclusive advice for Jay, join my Hayley Quinn Club today!

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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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