Single Bed Syndrome

January 4, 2016
▪ 2 mins read

I would say "imagine the scene"... But if you're reading this blog, you probably know this situation intimately already.

How To Deal With Single Bed Syndrom

Let's talk about single bed syndrome. I would say imagine the scene... but if you're reading this blog, you probably know this situation intimately already.

You're single so you went home for Christmas. You find yourself in your childhood bedroom whiling away the weird set of non-days that fall between Christmas and New Years. Your parents still remind you to put your car seatbelt on, and though you love them, Christmas is starting to feel a bit like groundhog day.  

Because as you scroll through your Facebook newsfeed everyone else is posting cosy 'coupled up' winter romance pictures and you gradually feel the weight of how that hasn't happened for you, yet, on your shoulders. I get that at this moment you'll have two instinctual reactions:

 1. To worry that this will always be the same.

 2. To join an online dating site or app (you may have heard me speaking on LBC about how Boxing Day is the biggest day of the year for this kind of high jinx)  

Now there's nothing 'wrong' per se with online dating. For some people, it can work out totally good. But if you think step two solves step one you're likely to be disappointed. And that can feel rubbish.

A few good things to acknowledge...

1. There is never one simple sweep of a solution to any 'problem'- this includes single bed syndrome. The love life thing is going to be resolved by a million little steps, not one decision. So yes go online, but don't forget to schedule time out with good friends, a new hobby, and life direction too.

2. Life is change. So if things aren't how you want them to be now, the wheel will turn and your landscape will change...  

3...Provided that you believe it can. I am starting to think that to be 'successful' (and by this, I mean happy and well balanced) as the years roll by you have to become semi-pro at letting stuff go and not slipping into the trap of being jaded i.e. thinking everyone is rubbish, and it will never work etc.  

So alongside getting on that app... make sure you take yourself out for a nice long walk, a few deep breaths and spring into the New Year embracing that in many ways you've never been better placed to find someone awesome than today and that in time everything will look the way you want it to.  


Hayley x

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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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