Your New Year Action Plan for Falling in Love

January 1, 2016
▪ 5 mins read

Your Action Plan- New Year Edition

Welcome back to another Love HQ podcast. First Love HQ podcast of 2016. Yes, let's make 2016 a good year. I don't know about you, but I got well fed up with 2015 by the end. So much lost, so much craziness. So much change. I don't know if you are feeling that. But that was one hell of a bumpy ride. So thank god we've got the other side New Year.

So usually on the Love HQ podcast, I have a guest in we kind of talk about self-love dating, romance sexuality. And we do it in a way that sort of is discursive and interesting. And it deviates from the general dating advice, which helps you very much.  

I hope you don't get fed up with me during this because I want to give you a quite personal 2016 message. I want to talk to you about levers so you can move and stuff that you can do for the new year. This is going to help you to create the change that you want in your life. As a general rule of thumb with the women that I work, I'm privileged enough to come into contact with. With women and dating, it's so much about the headspace that you're in. And I know what it's like you can have a rubbish relationship.  

And the natural result of that is you want to borrow away and go inwards on yourself. You cannot meet anyone for months or years at a time and don't think there's something wrong with you trust me isn't. What I want you to do is get you switched back on. Help you get on guys radars, the right men, as well put your boundaries in the right place. Get you practising the daily habits that you need to meet more of the men that you want.

New Year Action Plan

 So I've got five steps, five little action plan things for the new year. I'm hoping is going to shift your relationships and your interactions with men. And you know what? It's a new year resolution time. So make a start. And I'll be back next week to my normal format of podcasts where I have a guest in and I'm interviewing them. But I thought there's something special about Christmas and New Year's. I wanted to make it a bit more intimate than that.  

 I also know this time of year is not easy. My birthday is in December as well. So the whole birthday Christmas, New Year's Hatrick for me can be a bit overwhelming. Because each one of those points as you reflects on your past year.  

That can feel pretty overwhelming as a general sensation. Steps I want to give you are steps that aren't going to shift that feeling straight away but will get you on a good path. I have a good feeling about 2016. It'd be could be pretty good for us.

Turn up

The first thing I want you to in 2016 is to turn up! That can feel pretty overwhelming as a general sensation. Steps I want to give you are steps that aren't going to shift that feeling straight away but will get you on a good path. I have a good feeling about 2016. It'd be could be pretty good for us.

So the first thing I want you to in 2016 is to turn up. You might be thinking, what does she mean? I'm already here, I'm sat down, I'm listening, I'm walking. What do you want me to do? By turn off, I mean you have to be in it to win it. And I know you might have an active social life, you might have loads of friends. But sometimes when we've had a difficult past relationship...  

You might not be going out to places or spaces where you might meet people in a sexy romantic capacity. And that's what I need you to start to do. I want you to begin by turning up. That could be making sure that instead of meeting your friend at a house for dinner, you go to a new venue. Or you check out a new event or a new bar, a new restaurant. It could be that you check out that fitness activity that you've been meaning to do for ages you take up a dance class.

When you're walking along, you look up and you make eye contact and you smile with people. I want people to start freaking noticing that you exist. I want you to allow them to notice you exist. And if you haven't been meeting anyone for ages, I would imagine this is part of the puzzle that needs fixing. So I want you to be thinking about how you can up your visibility this year, how you can go to more places. And it could be as simple as instead of doing a task in your house, grab a book or your laptop, and go out somewhere you're going to meet people.

Nourish your fun and playful side

The second thing I want you to do is to do something to nourishes your fun and playful side. This is an underestimated part of relationships. Everyone should crack up at least once if it's there, the first day. So learning to let go of your inhibitions and worrying about whether he's judging you. Or if you're saying something right. Instead, learn to have a right laugh. It's youthful, it's vibrant, it's attractive. I want you to have fun with it.  

Now that fun could be that you put yourself outside your comfort zone. You both do a dance class for a day. Or something you both know you're going to suck at a little bit in the beginning. I want you to do something that you think it's funny. And that allows you to laugh. Get into your physical body, move around a little bit. Be free and expressive. Even if it's putting on some like good music and having a good old dance around in your living room. I have these huge windows in my living room that look out over the city. People in a building about 200 metres away must see some crazy shapes I'm throwing on a day to day basis. But energy is important.

It's all too easy with our lives, which are sometimes very stressful to get completely ground down. You need to live it up. And that will help you with dating. You have to laugh. Some situations or people are so bad- unless you find it funny, you're going to find it terrifying or scary or disappointing. And I'd rather you laugh. Laughter is such a good way of letting things go.

Face your fear

 The third thing is next year, is whatever your fear is to face it and jump in. For me, one of my fears I'm trying to overcome this year was that I was always afraid of trying to speak a foreign language. Because when I was growing up we didn't have much money. We couldn't afford to go abroad. I never wanted to learn because I was too afraid of failing. And so this year, I'm trying to learn.  

 But it can be anything, it could be about going to a party where you don't know someone or trying out a new social event. Or it could be a fear in a completely different area of your life.  

 Cooking was also another one for me. It's still ongoing that battle. I'm not very good, but I'm getting there feeling a bit better about it. And with all these fears, I want you not to face them, but to jump in. Because often it's that moment of hesitation before you start a big project. And that could be a household project, it could be a work project. That's the bit where it feels terrifying and you feel you have a mountain to climb.  

When you're in it, you're in it and you're in the flow and you sort it out and you know what things somehow fall into place. So find fear and then jump in. I hope that the confidence you'll reap in other areas of your life that you know what you can take a bit of a risk and it's okay. I hope that when you do that, it's going to help to equate to something in your romantic life.

To get the whole "New Year Action Plan" make sure to listen to the whole podcast episode above! And make an excellent New Year decision by joining my Hayley Quinn Club!

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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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