Confidence Building
For Men

Make people like you- learning the social sell

April 11, 2012
▪ 4 mins read

Like likes like.

This is the core of sales: people buy from people who they like, who they feel understand them and their needs. Today I want to talk to you about how to make people like you!

Previously this used to be about making a good impression when you knocked on someone’s door. Or serve them in your shop. A little later having a great phone manner and nattering away on a sales call was the skill everyone wanted to have.Getting people to buy your product has never been a hard sell. It’s always been a social sell.

And now, thanks to the Internet, our social sell has just got more demanding. Now we have to show our customers what our ethos is through our website. Woo them with our newsletters and tell the world what we’re like as people through blogs like these!

Social networking doesn’t have to be a demand though! It can be a key to finding out what your customers are like, and what they want. It can help you to anticipate their demands and give them what they want.

Trance words

You may know me as a dating coach but I'm also an active twitter user, facebooker, blogger, and general social media geek. I’ve had the opportunity to experiment with what makes people `like’ you, how to communicate with your clients, and how to tap into the most powerful piece of market research you can get.

If you have a following through social media, or just through a regular stream of client phone calls/ email inquiries; you’ve already got all the tools you need to find out what your clients want. People tell us what they want through their `trance’ words: the words that they use when they’re really expressing themselves.

Trance words are words that make people buy. This could be a product or it could be saying yes to a date. The same skills apply.

Trance words that your clients always mention in their email inquiries, they’re the words she always says on the phone; and now they’re the keywords from your conversations via social media.

Let me give you two examples:

Fred calls up Human Resources Ltd and Bonnie answers. Fred doesn’t get to his point immediately: he tells Bonnie about his day, the trouble he’s had finding staff, what happened to the last person he employed... Bonnie sticks with it though and eventually gets Fred to open up. Fred explains that he really needs staff that are reliable and that have a sense of responsibility. Jotting these words down, Bonnie allows Fred to talk some more before calmly and concisely explaining that Human Resources Ltd pride themselves on having staff that is reliable and responsible. Fred quickly agrees to use Human Resources Ltd.

Rachel is skimming through her company, Cookie’s Inc, Facebook friends. She is pretty sure that there’s room in the market for a skinny double choc chip cookie for professional women in their twenties. She writes a status update about this and gets a great response. Clicking on her inbox she sees a message from Katy who is enquiring about when the cookie is going to launch. Checking out Katy’s profile page she notes down that Katy is in her mid-twenties and works for a PR company in London, she likes new restaurants, yoga, and music festivals.

She collates this data as and when Cookie Inc’s Facebook friends interact with their company’s page: and before long sees trends developing between what different customers' interests are and what type of cookies they prefer. She decides that doing a product stand at Glastonbury would be a great chance to trial run the double choc chip cookie; and also contacts yoga companies about whether they’d be willing to endorse its health benefits. The skinny choc chip cookie is a huge success: and Rachel gets promoted.

Effective sale

Knowing what your customers want has always been key to effective sales and marketing. Now social media has opened a door for us to build on our ability to listen to what our customers really want (their trance words), make better products, get more dates, and know what business ventures make sense for us to take. What girls are going to say 'yes' to that date.

To get to a place where you can use these trance words effectively; you can’t just be a great communicator, you need to be a purposeful communicator.

You need to know how to get people to open up, how to encourage a conversation on your social media, how to close down that opportunity to network, to create a business, become more confident.

And this is where I come in. I believe that the communication skills I can teach you will allow you to improve not just your dating life, but your life as a whole. All you need to do is
book your session today and discover how I can help improve your communication skills.

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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