Seduction: How To Be Seductive

Let’s talk seduction!


Last week I asked my mailing list what they wanted to hear about seduction. I was asked:

How do you make her want you?
How do you get her from coffee to the bedroom?
When do you bring up having an open relationship?

And a bunch more questions…

I’m going to leave the open relationship question to one side for a second as that’s more complicated than it looks (Hint: having open relationships isn’t one long party, it requires a lot of work from your side to be truly open, trusting, giving.)


How do you get her to ‘want’ you

Whether that’s sexually, romantically or both is a little easier to start with. First of all an obvious disclaimer – you can’t make everyone you’re attracted to want you in the same way.

You are not in control of another person’s actions- and attempting to seduce everyone is DUMB – become seductive with the people you connect with when sparks fly, otherwise forget it- go find something better to do! Recognising that it’s better to seek self-control than control of anyone else is a great starting point for seduction. Seduction begins with you and translates to her.

It isn’t about you behaving in a way that she finds sexy; it’s about you finding yourself and the situation sexy & that vibe radiating out from you.

So before you worry about what turns her on- think about what turns you on.


When do you feel sexual & seductive?

And I don’t mean when you’re watching a XXX movie. I mean when you walk into a room full with the knowledge that you are sexual, powerful being. Maybe it’s when you’re giving a lecture, on the dance floor or have just discovered a solution to something at work. This is one of the many areas I work on in my coaching.

You need to operate within that feeling more often & know how to access it when you’re confronted with someone who you’re very attracted to. Come from a belief in your sexiness to ‘make her want you’. Believe in the possibilities of everything that could happen between both of you RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, for her to want to follow you from a coffee date to the bedroom. You need to act in a way that you’re comfortable with the ethics of what’s happening, otherwise, your discomfort will soon become hers.


Before you worry about the seductive line, body language or plan you need to:

  • Know what makes you sexy.

  • Be comfortable within your sexuality.

  • Be sure your version of seduction is in line with your values as a human being.

  • Gain a vision for how wonderful today could be & embrace the moment.

  • Have conviction within yourself.

These are big concepts, they’re not magic bullets, but they are the foundations to a freer, happier, sexier, life – and this is what I will help you to achieve when we work together.


For more information on my coaching check this out – I listen to all enquiries and treat everyone on an individual basis!


Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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