For Men

Top 3 Dating Problems Women Face

October 6, 2017
▪ 4 mins read

(Yes, dating can be hard for women too)

I know you must think some days, `Why am I having to learn about how to approach women, date women, talk to women, and they have it super easy...’ it is easy to think that the dating problems women have are non-existent.  

After coaching so many thousands of men I fully understand that it can feel like you’re making ALL the effort and women just get to stand there, look pretty and mercilessly reject guys.  

In this blog, I want to tell you exactly what dating problems women experience so you can understand women better and get better connections with them... I will be telling you the top 3 dating problems women have...

Dating problem women face 1. `Where Have All The Good Guys Gone’

A huge problem for women is that they don’t feel like they get approached all that much. You might think `that’s not true attractive women must be constantly aggravated by all the guys hitting on them on dating sites, at bars...’ Here is where men and women see things differently.  

For a lot of women online dating is an `if I have to...’ activity they do when they’re not really meeting any guys organically in their everyday lives. This means when a guy `approaches’ online a lot of the time women will not classify that as a `real approach’. This is also because women usually take time to become attracted to a guy, it’s not instantaneous especially with an online profile which they’re not even sure is real.  

Add to this the fact that loads of guys (maybe this is you) who she could really connect with holding off from approaching her, and the only guys that do go up to her are `pushy’ then this will skew her view of the men that are out there.  

I KNOW great men exist as I work with so many of you day to day, most women don’t know this.

Dating problem women face 2. `Whose move is it anyway?’

Women, just like you, are unsure in 2017 who should be saying hello to who, should she go home with you on the first night, should she split the bill? Etc. Modern dating has got everyone confused. The problem with this is - if you are waiting for a clear signal from her, she is really unlikely to give one. Most women (who trust me have had some seriously bad dating advice) will be torn between:

  1. "I’m a modern, independent woman, screw it I’m going after what I want..." (I like this...)
  3. "I don’t want him to think I’m not a good woman for being sexual so I will hold back..."

This is why it’s so important if a woman does give clear signals, and IS comfy in her sexuality to not negatively judge her for it. As otherwise women will be forever holding back, and because of that, it will leave you with even less clear signals to work with.

Dating problem women face 3. `What is this guy looking for?’

It is a myth that all women want relationships. She may not be looking for a commitment right now, forever or with you. So assume nothing and check it out with her instead.  

Often the worst part of this for women is trying to figure out what you’re looking for. I know it can feel awkward but honestly, if she knows early on in the dating process, in a positive way, what you’re looking for it will help her to get into the right mindset and make a good decision how to proceed.

If a woman wants a relationship and believes you do too, only to find out two months in that you’re definitely not looking for that then she will be disappointed. If you make it clear that (regardless of how awesome she is) you’re just looking for respectful and exciting experiences at this stage in your life on date one or two it will go down a lot better.  

Regardless of what level of commitment she wants, EVERY woman wants a man they can trust.

Rebel Women

Hopefully, this gives you some insight into some of the hurdles women face in the dating process trying to meet men... believe me, I want to help women equally. Because I can’t help you out fully if I am not addressing 50% of the problem which is how women approach dating and love. I really want to teach women how to give clearer signals, state what relationships they want and approach guys but to do this I need your support.  

If you know a woman (maybe a platonic friend, or a relative if that’s not too weird) who you think could benefit from my advice I'd like to meet her .. maybe you think she'd make a great member of my women's club?  

To do this, just send an email to copying in the woman (or women!) you want me to meet and I will personally get back to all of them.  

The `how to catch a man’ or `how to talk any woman into bed’ mumbo jumbo needs to end as it’s not helping anyone. I passionately believe we can all be happier, freer, with more great exciting dates but to get there we need to work collaboratively as men and women to understand and connect with each other. Most people want the same things: physical contact, affection, intimacy, excitement ... and we can get there together.

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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