2-part video series

The perfect text to send after your first date

The perfect texts to send to a woman after you've had a date with her, to arrange date two.

Messaging
For Men
Published 
March 30, 2017
Last Updated 

Had a great first date? Send her a perfect text!

Here is a perfect text to send after a great first date... especially if you didn't kiss her.

Send these messages if:

I just wanted to give you a little bit of texting advice. This is for when:

  • You've had a good first date
  • You sensed she would have kissed you and you didn't quite make the move
  • You want to set up a second date and claw back a little sexual tension

You've had a great date with a girl you think is really cool but you kind of wish you'd asked her to stay for one more drink...In fact, you were pretty sure she wanted to stay longer with you. The signs were there but because she's so awesome you didn't want to mess it up by pushing too much. Now you need a great follow up text because you want to see her again.

My job as a dating coach and dating expert is to guide you on how to communicate with smart, sexy modern women better.

Missed your chance?

I know if she's there in front of you giving you the eye contact, squeezing your hand, asking you what's the most adventurous thing you've ever done... why you would be kicking yourself on the ride home if you couldn't quite make the move to kiss her or more. Working with so many women I also know how our version of 'we made it SO CLEAR' can still not quite register. It's understandable and even admirable that if you like her, and want to get to know her more, that you don't want to be that pushy, creepy guy.

But, I need to make sure that if she's going to recognise that you're a potentially a great guy for her that you communicate clearly enough before she:

a. chooses another guy

b. gets so fed up of waiting for something to happen she goes dating AWOL.

So I need you to send a follow-up message that does something to acknowledge the moment. Missed in an unapologetic way. Something that shows your sexual side and a desire to see her again.

Example

The examples I'm including here are real-life messages from my Academy Whatsapp Thread. (For all the guys in my Academy - a 12-week course that runs 2-3 times a year, they get me on hand 24/7 for 'WhatsApp Support!'). This message was sent by one of my Academy recruits who is now progressing onto coaching for me. He'd had an awesome date with a woman. However, as they parted company he was struck with the annoying feeling that she wanted more. The message we crafted together is suggestive and authoritative.

Women DO NOT tend to respond to explicit messages well, it's just crude. You'll find she sexually enjoys it though when a guy implies his strong desire for her. This is the perfect text to send her after a first date where you didn't flirt as much as you could have done.

Text after first date example:

Remind me to convince you to stay out longer next time

This message suggests something sexual. It assumes you're going to see her again and has an authoritative tone. It's sexy without being rude.

You'll also notice the second image is a little advice I gave in the Whatsapp thread. It boils down to, if you like her, follow up with her! Especially if you're looking to build a relationship. It would really, really put me off a guy if he didn't message me following our date for a couple of days. I'd assume he wasn't interested and my guard would go up. Dating can be a minefield and one of the best ways you can allow her to open up is to be consistent, honest and clear in your intentions.

So don't shy away next time...

Many men I've encountered through coaching and other things that I've done have felt such incredible degrees of frustration about not being able to get second date. If you can get first date but those first dates never translate into a second date it can feel frustrating. Being constantly stuck on the same level of the process does not mean you are a bad dater.

Sometimes, even if the date was great and there was a lot of connection you might miss on the second date. If you do not follow up with her after the date with even a simple message such as: "I had really nice time tonight." or "I hope you got home safely." if she is having any reservations about you this play against you.

Get Hayley's advice on what text messages to send after the first date

Rules for a perfect text (general)

When it comes to dating successfully there are very few `rules’. If there were, why would the people who always seem to get what they want from relationships never stick to them?

Some guys can burn the rule book- and still be successful- but if you’re a guy that doesn’t have a 100% batting average then these `rules’ (or shall we call them guidelines?) are well worth sticking to. I call them10 Golden Rules of Texting for Dating.

  1. Don’t ask vague questions
  2. Be specific
  3. Make decisions
  4. Use strong language
  5. Don’t accept second place
  6. Mirror her levels of investment
  7. Match her ratio
  8. Act nonchalant if she says `no’
  9. Try a low commitment date first
  10. Go for it!

Forget the lessons of the past where you should wait couple of days before you reach out to her (especially if you met online and already exchanged a lot of messages before meeting). Don't be afraid to say just how much you enjoyed her company. Be playful and build the anticipation for your next date!

If you would like my advice on your text messages all you need to do is email me hello@hayleyquinn.com. One of my team will get back to you asap :-)

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