Meeting In Real Life

So now that lockdown is over, can you suggest meeting up in person?

June 3, 2020
▪ 2 mins read

Is this a goodbye to video dates?

Asking someone to meet in person after lockdown, might seem a bit like a taboo subject, which is why I partnered up with Match to give you modern advice on how to approach this! 

The tips that I gave in this video are all about considerate ways to tell the person you’ve been chatting with all this time, that you would like to meet in real life. 

Why am I emphasising being considerate? Well, it is unlikely that when the lockdown is lifted, we will return to the normality that we once knew... In fact, people are going to differ in when or how they feel comfortable meeting up in person. So, before you go ahead and suggest a meeting, it is important to make sure the other person feels comfortable. You can do that by demonstrating to them that you are aware of everything that is happening and that whilst you feel comfortable to meet them based on the latest advice, they might not be on the same page as you! 

So what are some nice ways to phrase this? 

Well, that’s what I’m here for! 

You could start by saying something like: 

  1. "Feel free to shoot me down"
  2. "It is okay if this is an outright no"
  3. "I am going to make a suggestion, but let me know if this doesn’t work for you" 

By acknowledging how the other person might feel, it shows a lot of social awareness and gives them a nice get-out-clause that will make it easier for them to express their opinions and feelings around this suggestion! 

Now that you have acknowledged the situation, you can go on to suggest meeting up! 

You can say something like this: "But I’d like to go for a walk with you" or "I’d love to meet you finally in person". 

After you have been clear about what your intentions are, it is important to listen up and see if the other person is on the same page as you. If they communicate that they’d like to meet you, but they prefer to wait it out and see how things go for the next couple of weeks, remember this: an important building block for a healthy relationship is to show respect for the other person’s boundaries and timeline! 

So, saying "No worries, I understand. How about another video date on Friday instead?" you are going to appear secure, confident and considerate! 

If the other person is looking for a long term, committed partner, this response will make them think that you’re an awesome person! 

So can you suggest meeting up in person? Yes! But this is my key takeaway advice:

  1. Other people may have slightly different preferences for you. 
  2. Acknowledging these differences is important so that they don’t feel under pressure. 
  3. So, accept their response and
  4. Keep building a committed and conscientious relationship! 
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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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