So what message do you send to an ex-boyfriend who’s always on your mind? Or the guy who was always a bit uncertain about commitment, then eventually disappeared? The short answer is - you do not message this guy! But before you get disappointed about the lack of a killer message here to `hook’ him back in: let me explain where I’m coming from. And how by understanding WHY we get hung up on people can free you to never want to message him again. And that’s the good stuff.
Should you send that message?
You 100% do not need to learn how to win an ex back who didn’t value, who was uncertain about you, or who messed you around. You 100% do need to feel strong enough, confident enough and clear enough to never feel tempted to re-save his number in your phone. Or change his name back from `AVOID!!!’ You may think I don’t understand, and that he is The One because you felt a special connection to him. You’ve never felt that way before or since! No one compares!
However, I can tell you definitively if he’s not showing a real, consistent, and genuine interest in building that relationship with you* then that means he’s out of the running to be your guy. (* and I’m not talking about a half baked effort for a few months before his commitment issues rear their ugly head again.) I know this because I have been in this exact position myself. I remember once pining for a guy who’d made a strong impression on me, despite only seeing him once one year! Once!
Here’s the thing, feeling like you need, you MUST, get back with someone can be an addictive experience.
- It starts with having an incredible spark. We often equate the sparky feeling with `love of my life’, when I think it’s more likely to mean `strong attraction.’
- Then something goes wrong (just like the movies!) maybe he suddenly gets cold feet and pulls back.
- You panic and try and fix things.
- He gives you an extremely unclear response, `when the time is right, I know we’ll find each other again,’!
What you want vs what you need
This lack of a clear resolution and the tantalising thought that you were THIS CLOSE to having the love of your life is a potent combination. Which is only made worse if you spend an uncomfortable amount of time thinking about how to get him back. The problem is, the man in your mind that you’re thinking about isn’t him... it’s how you remember him, your idea of him. Very quickly that idea you hold of him can obscure what he was actually like and you can accidentally attribute to him almost romantic movie hero qualities.
So really the goal isn’t how to keep embellishing this image, which is precisely what happens every time you think about how to win him back. Instead, learn how to recognise that image you hold of him is a mirage! The best place to start is by realising that it’s not him you need to put this effort and this focus into: it’s you. You’re the one who needs to change and grow, to realise you deserve so much more.
Learn what message to send
If you were disappointed this blog didn’t have any texts you can send to guys in it - fear not I am going to be delivering a very special webinar soon about how you can master messaging men.
But to know how to message men effectively, you have to get into the right headspace around dating.
PLEASE REGISTER IN ADVANCE - don’t try to do it on the day. If you’re stuck with any technical issues then I won’t be able to help you if I’m running a webinar! The room will only `open’ for those who register their interest ahead of time.
So all you need to do is register.
Date - 12th December 2020
Time - 14:30 GMT, 10:30 EST, 07:30 PST
The live stream will last for 60 minutes.
How Do You Join?
You simply need to register your details.
I promise I’ll be teaching you an easy way to figure out the best next move you can make when you’re messaging a man online.
Great tips on what messages not to send to him can be found here!