3-part video series
He's Not Asking For Your Number? Try THIS Instagram Hack!

He's Not Asking For Your Number? Try THIS Instagram Hack!

There are few things more annoying than talking to a hot guy... and he’s just not asking for your number.

January 30, 2023
Last Updated 

Even worse if you spend all evening talking to said hot guy and you part ways with an awkward: "...Well it was nice talking to you!" and you wind up thinking, 'what was all that about?'

As meeting hot guys IRL can be rare, it’s worth having a few tricks up your sleeve to give him a subtle but clear prompt to ask for your number: And this one’s right out of the playbook from our Secret Place workshop, where we teach you how to meet men in real life.

And yes it involves Instagram, or another form of social media.

However before I teach you this simple hack let’s start with a couple of basics:

Number 1: Don't spend all night talking to a guy in the hope he'll end up asking you for your number.

So many times it will happen that you over give and basically spend your whole evening chatting to a guy, only for it to turn into nothing.There are so many reasons to enjoy the connection for a while (I’m thinking 10-15 minutes max) and then get out of there!

Firstly, you’ve just met him, so there’s probably other people at that party/ event who you want to catch up with. Even if you don’t know anyone else there, socialise, and don’t over invest too soon in this one opportunity.

Secondly, as you don’t know anything about him, you don’t know if he’s going to ask for your number. This leads me neatly to point 2...

Number 2: Don't assume that because he's enthusiastically chatting to you that he's available.

Yes he could have a wife or girlfriend, and is just enjoying the flirtation; but there are many more reasons why he won’t ask for your number:

  • He’s hesitating as he doesn’t really know where to take this (and he’ll only realise he had an opportunity 3 days later over his lunch break...)
  • He’s hesitating as he thinks you seem nice, but he’s clear he’s just not looking for anything right now.
  • He’s enjoying the moment but there’s something about you that doesn’t line up with what he wants.

The point is, you don’t know, and there are so many reasons why he may not ask that are nothing to do with "you."

So what’s the hack Hayley?

This hack to get him to ask for your phone number is all about making it easy for him to take that next step. Yes, some guys love the challenge of asking a woman out, but they really are in the minority: A lot of great guys will sit on the sidelines because they’re not sure how to ask you out.

It’s not that there’s no good men left, it’s just probably most of them you meet don’t know how to go from point a to point b of asking you out.

So if you learn how to help him get over that line, your dating life is going to start to feel a lot more abundant.

One of the easiest ways to prompt him to ask for your number, or social media, is to have your phone unlocked and in your hands when you’re talking to him.Here are some examples:

  • "It was the best trip, I’ll show you a photo..."
  • "I follow this really funny account on Instagram..."
  • "I’m waiting for my friends, let me just check my DMs..."

In all these instances you get your phone out and show him your Instagram account. He can then follow you then, and there, or if he’s not feeling quite as confident, he may remember your name and follow you later on.

This simple hack makes it much easier for him to ask for your number or social media.

Now, you might be thinking, "that’s great but what’s stopping me from just asking for his number?"

The answer to that is NOTHING.

If you’re really comfortable taking the lead and it feels natural to you in the moment to ask, ask!

We are all different.The dating coach in me is just going to advise you that if he can make the move it’s often better: he has to psyche himself up to take the risk to ask you for your number, and when you give it to him, it will feel like a real win.

Equally if he doesn’t ask for your number this is often a pretty effective filter for his readiness to go on a date with you.

If you try this hack and he’s still not budging, often the best think you can do is sashay away, and know that you (probably) haven’t lost out on anything.

Next steps

If you're up to learn more practical tips and practice them with my team of coaches in real life, I encourage you to join our next Secret Place Workshop!

 We will be going hard on how to meet men in real life, it's fun, supportive, meaningful and I would love to see you there!  

Download icon
This is some text inside of a div block.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Suspendisse varius enim in eros elementum tristique. Duis cursus, mi quis viverra ornare, eros dolor interdum nulla, ut commodo diam libero vitae erat. Aenean faucibus nibh et justo cursus id rutrum lorem imperdiet. Nunc ut sem vitae risus tristique posuere.

Download PDF
By clicking “Accept”, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyse site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Privacy Policy.