For Men

3 Flirty Messages to Send to Her

July 29, 2021
▪ 4 mins read

How you can become more flirtatious?

You might have been wondering how to flirt with her. How can you communicate that you're the kind of guy she should see as a boyfriend? I can understand why flirtation doesn't always feel easy. In the modern age, it can be hard to judge the difference between showing your intentions clearly enough that she gets excited to see you again and overstepping the mark. No one wants to bethat creepy guy that's gonna get blown out here. I want to give you some tools that in a subtle ways will communicate to her that you would like to see more of her and that you're flirting.

If you find that you constantly end up being the friend when you might want something more, that doesn't mean you are walking around wearing a T-shirt that says friend zone. Instead, it's all about how you're communicating. What we want to achieve today is to get you to the place where you are communicating to women you're attracted to, right from the get go that you are someone who they'd want to date. Someone who is a potential boyfriend or partner figure.


Start to assume that a lot of things she does are flirtatious. It could be you saying: 'Are you flirting with me? I think you actually just wanted an excuse to see me again'. Now you have to be careful when you're doing that this- do not mean this seriously. You want her to participate in this joke by saying: 'No, I'm not. Stop getting such a big head.'

This is showing that she's agreeing and going along with your line of a joke. If instead her reaction is a neutral or dull, you've missed the time to say this. She's not interested enough yet to make that fly. So use this technique, but use it cautiously.

Being playful while ambiguous

The other way you can use a table-turner is when she says something that's a bit more provocative or a bit more flirtatious within the conversation. This could be her saying: 'Oh, well, maybe we'll see how late we stay up on Saturday night x x'. Instead of going down the route of sexual neediness you (which is never going to be attractive), say:

'That's outrageous'.

'I'm going to get my knitting set ready to go'.

At this point, do not take part with her in this idea that something sexy is going to happen. Instead, adopt this prudish role, where you say you cannot believe she said such a thing. Or that you would have never expected that from such a nice girl. This way, instead of showing sexual neediness, you're actually being playful. You're doing that table turn where she is the one that's being more flirtatious with you.

This is a safe and fun way to be more flirtation with her. Again, you want to see her participating in the joke. If she is not feeling that way at all, or she isn't buying into your joke, then let it go.

Complimentary words out of context

A lot of the time, you may find it awkward or difficult to be direct when expressing your interest in a woman. You might want to be direct and laying your cards on the table by telling someone that you like them. But when you're attracted to someone, you can struggle to think of a way that you can be clear about what your intentions are, while still being congruent to who you are. Not to mention keeping it smooth. So here's a good idea.

Instead of saying: 'You're so attractive,' it's often better to borrow that word attractive and use it in a different context. Give her some praise or validation around a personal quality she's bringing to the table during your dates. You could say something like:

'I think it's really attractive, how excited you are by your career.'

'I can see your eyes really light up when you talk about that. It's really nice to see.'

'I think it's really attractive how you're so caring for other people.'

You still use the word attractive, which is going to create a little bit of a spark of tension on that date. But you use it in the context of a personal quality she's exhibiting. That can be a smart way of telegraphing your attraction to her, but not doing it in a way where you feel like you've had to lay all your cards on the table.

Implied compliments

My third and final way to useflirty messagesin a way that's pretty easy and simple. It doesn't need of you to lay your cards on the table. Instead of using those direct compliments, you can use implied compliments. An implied compliment is a compliment that after she hears it, she realises that you would only be saying that if you were interested in her. That could be:

'I just had to come and say hello to you.'

'There was another reason that made me feel like I wanted to message you when I saw your profile.'

'I'm sort of struggling to believe that you need to use dating apps.'

All these statements imply she's an attractive person and you felt compelled to do something because you are into her. But they say it in a way that is subtle and allows her to come to her own conclusions. Again, it's not too forceful. It's not explicit, it's not rude. It's not going to turn her off.

Your three flirty messages

These are all safe ideas about how you can indirectly communicate attraction, but still in a way that is clear enough that she will understand it.  

Remember, what's actually important here, is for you is to clearly communicate your intentions. She needs to understands from your flirty messages what you intention is and what you mean by when you're talking to her. So use your table turners, your complimentary words out of context, and your implied compliments to flirt with her in a way that is subtle, smooth and modern.

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