Meeting In Real Life
For Men

Approaching women during the day

June 29, 2012
▪ 3 mins read

Fed up with sticky-floored nightclubs?

Fed up with sticky-floored nightclubs?

Then discover the really easy way to chat with women you see in the street...yes that's right, your walk to work could be your new best place to meet and practice approaching women during the day!

Any guy, shy or confident, can learn how to approach a woman in the street, and get results!

Of course, approaching women during the day can be daunting at first. But it's a piece of cake once you learn how! Here are my essential top tips distilled to see you through that early stage.

Do the easy thing

Be lazy at first, don’t get bogged down in technicalities! So many guys will spend hours analyzing their plan when what they actually need is to get out there and try it. It's no good having a detailed plan of what you think will happen when you approach someone for the first time - you need to put that plan into practice! How?

Just get into some conversations. Lots of them. If a girl is looking at a map, tell her you’re a Londoner and asks where she wants to go or if you see a group of girls with a camera, offer to take their photo. Be outside of your head and not inside it and as you get more comfortable chatting in the street. Then you can begin to think about refining your skills.

Still, finding it difficult to engage with women you approach in the street? Have a chat with me personally for some tailor-made advice!

Have someone’s full attention before you continue speaking

There is nothing worse than stopping a girl, delivering a direct opener, but having her ask `What?’ The potency of your opener is diminished and it lowers your value to have to repeat yourself. Make sure you engage her eye contact fully, then say `Hey’ (Pause) and once she is concentrating on you fully, deliver your opener.

Take Incremental steps

Running after a stranger in the street to stop them is often a frightening experience! So it’s okay not to be fully comfortable with it at first. Gradually build up your confidence by approaching women who are standing still. If a girl is standing outside Topshop, get close to her (use your phone as a prop to pretend you are making a call if you wish!) and then try to start the conversation spontaneously and naturally.

There is no such thing as Failure. Only Feedback

Don’t expect success straight away. Your first attempts might not go brilliantly but give yourself a pat on the back for actually doing it at all. As you get talking to more girls, though, you will find that your tongue and brain loosen up and your interactions will become more natural and easy-going. This is why, when you’re starting out, it’s important to practice on as many girls as possible, NOT just ones you find hot! Your aim shouldn’t be to get numbers straight away but instead to become a cool, confident guy with great conversational skills in many different settings.

No such thing as rejection

And, finally, remember that all the most successful daters out there, myself included, have a string of rejections behind them. Rejection isn't important, it’s how you deal with rejection that counts: whether you choose to learn from it or whether you let it get you down. It’s the ones with the sheer hunger and persistence that usually get the love life they deserve.

So, whether you're shy or confident, the first step to kickstarting your dating life is improving your ability to approach, talk to and engage with women you meet during the day. Chat with me for all the tips you need on improving how you approach women, and then it's just a case of practice, practice, practice!

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

Stay connected with Hayley
Newsletter icon
By clicking “Accept”, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyse site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Privacy Policy.