Meeting In Real Life
For Men

Get over the fear of approaching her

July 22, 2014
▪ 4 mins read

The fear is not your enemy!

Today I'm going to talk to you about getting over that fear of approaching her. And even better I'm going to be giving you a technique to allow you to use that fear of approaching her as a means to get you to say hello.

All of those excuses that you've been bottling up for not wanting to approach. All that horrible feeling that you have in your gut when you see a beautiful woman walking by. You don't know quite what to say. I will teach you in this video how to use that formto say hello to a woman in such a way that she's going to respond brilliantly.

When your fear takes over

I want you to imagine you're in one of those settings where you want to say hi. It could be a bar and you see a really attractive woman. Or maybe you're in the street or maybe you're just in a coffee shop and you notice a cute girl in the queue or sitting down eating a salad.

At that point, a clock starts ticking and you know that you should be acting. You should be going over there and say hi before she walks out of the room. But you don't because for some reason you don't feel comfortable within that environment to say hi. You worry that she'll reject you. You worry that other people will be listening to you. Maybe it's just not appropriate to say hello to her because it's not that you're at dating event! She's eating her lunch!

At this point I want you to understand that whatever your fear is saying, that voice in your head, the excuse that your brain is giving you to not take that action. I want you to grab ahold of it and I want you to use it as your conversation. I get it, when that voice of fear is screaming and shouting in your brain it can be really difficult to think of a witty opening thing to say to the woman.

And then you have two issues affecting you. Your mind is blank and you're afraid of approaching her. What a bad combination! Let's solve both those problems.

Using the fear for your gains

What I need you to is get conscious- identify exactly what that voice is saying. Is it saying it's not appropriate because you know what we're on a train and she's on her way to work?

I don't think I should speak to her because she's got her headphones in.

Maybe I shouldn't speak to her because she's clearly in an in-depth conversation with a friend.

I don't think I should speak to her because she's really good-looking.

It looks very intimidating whatever that fear is.

This is what you're going to say. You're going to verbalize and acknowledge what the internal voice of fear is saying to you. I know this sounds mental but it works and I'll tell you why.

When you say hi to a woman you've got her attention. If the next thing you say to her is specific, she knows that you haven't just said this to 20 other women that day. It shows that you're a human being. She gets to know a little bit more about your character and your personality. And she knows it's the truth.

Honesty= perfect daygame approaches  

If you say what is exactly on your brain all of your nonverbal communication is going to be expressing that in a way that she knows what she's hearing is completely authentic. She'll respond well to that.

If what you say is vulnerable but also courageous.

It takes chops to walk up to a woman and say hey!

You know what? I almost didn't say hi to you because you are very attractive but here I am. Please don't slap me.

If you say that- that takes balls and that confidence is what will be attractive to women.

If you approach a woman and she's halfway through eating a burrito say:

Hey. Gosh, this is probably the worst time ever to say hello to you because you're halfway through eating that sandwich.

You're using what would be your limitation what would be the fear and you're turning into a witty conversation that's very relevant to her. It lets her know she's in the presence of a guy who's socially aware and socially well-calibrated enough that he's okay to acknowledge what's going on.

If you see a woman chatting with her friend.

Just say:

Hey! I know you're in the middle of a very in-depth conversation that I'm about to gatecrash. But I had to tell you...

So instead of struggling to think about what's the perfect opening line in these circumstances and getting wound up and let your fear overtake you, how about you accept that there isn't the perfect opening line?

You can have an opening line that's specific, really honest and shows a great deal of self-esteem and self-confidence if you do that. If you deliver it with smiles, slowly and making great eye contact, she is going to respond well. The best way that you can deal with and manage your fear, that annoying voice in your head that stops you from approaching the women that you like. Get a hold of that voice and use it as one of your tools for the conversation.

They'll help to keep interactions authentic and honest and awesome.


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