Dating Tips
For Men

Are Pick-Up Artists Good or Sort Of Evil?

September 2, 2017
▪ 3 mins read

Inside Project St. Tropez with Mystery and Beckster

The world of pick-up artists has long fascinated me. I imagine if you’re reading this blog it’s got your curiosity too. Can you really make someone attracted to you? And even if you can, should you? Isn’t that super manipulative?!

I found out about the pick-up industry in a fairly conventional way involving a guy I loved. He was into pick-up artistry and he hurt me. I wanted revenge.

My origin story

When asked how I got started in the dating industry I usually joke `revenge’ but if I’m honest with myself I just couldn’t shake my desire to explore it, understand it and probably take control of it... The first thing I learned about the pick-up artist industry wasn’t what a `neg’ as though - it was that the guys who wanted to learn to pick up were (broadly speaking) great guys. Men who had morals, who wanted to learn, and to have the most fundamental of human things; connection and relationships.

These are men who (I think quite reasonably) wanted the chance for women to like them rather than learning how to hypnotize sixteen strippers into being their girlfriends. Along my way, I have had the pleasure (purely sapiosexual I promise) of hanging out with and learning from the original pick-up artist gurus. I have also gone on to deliver my own take on the pick-up industry to teach tens of thousands of men and women to find their version of happiness.

Project St. Tropez

One of the coaches I always got on with the best, is Beckster. I originally mistook him for a really dodgy guy: sort of like a pick-up vampire hybrid. However, years later when I finally sat down to interview him for my podcast I thought `this guy is okay!’ I also saw his depth of knowledge and how much he cared for his students. Over the years of friendship that followed he showed me consistent great character, and so when I found out he would be running Project St. Tropez this summer with Mystery - the black nail polish wearing - master pick-up artist made famous by The Game, it was only a matter of time before I found myself checking out their new basecamp.

Whilst I was there I (alongside dating Youtuber Layan Bubbly) interviewed these gurus of seduction. I asked them all the questions I’ve ever wanted to ask.

These were:

Are pick-up artists manipulative?

Can it really be considered art?

Can women learn anything from the world of pick-up artists?

What do men make of women approaching them?

I also got to get some amazing knowledge bombs that it’s my pleasure to share with you. I’ll let you watch the full video interview but they include:

Why you have to embrace spontaneity

What to do when `the universe’ throws you an opportunity

Why `opening’ is not a big deal, no matter if it’s the guy or woman who does it

How to prevent `analysis paralysis’

Why it is always okay to break some metaphorical eggs and not need everyone to like you

As for what I thought of Mystery and Beckster? Very clever in different ways: visionaries, artists, and radical. Just the kind of people I like to spend time with. I learned things. They treated me fairly and kindly, and most importantly allowed me to stand side by side with them without judgement to create what I think is a very special interview....

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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