perfect text

The perfect text to send after your first date

Had a great first date? Send her a perfect text!

Here is a perfect text to send after a great first date… especially if you didn’t kiss her.

Send these messages if:

I just wanted to give you a little bit of texting advice. This is for when:

  • You’ve had a good first date

  • You sensed she would have kissed you and you didn’t quite make the move 

  • You want to set up a second date and claw back a little sexual tension 

You’ve had a great date with a girl you think is really cool but you kind of wish you’d asked her to stay for one more drink… In fact, you were pretty sure she wanted to stay longer with you. The signs were there but because she’s so awesome you didn’t want to mess it up by pushing too much. Now you need a great follow up text because you want to see her again.

My job as a dating coach and dating expert is to guide you on how to communicate with smart, sexy modern women better.


Missed your chance?

I know if she’s there in front of you giving you the eye contact, squeezing your hand, asking you what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done… why you would be kicking yourself on the ride home if you couldn’t quite make the move to kiss her or more. Working with so many women I also know how our version of ‘we made it SO CLEAR’ can still not quite register. It’s understandable and even admirable that if you like her, and want to get to know her more, that you don’t want to be that pushy, creepy guy.

But, I need to make sure that if she’s going to recognise that you’re a potentially a great guy for her that you communicate clearly enough before she:

a. chooses another guy

b. gets so fed up of waiting for something to happen she goes dating AWOL.

So I need you to send a follow-up message that does something to acknowledge the moment. Missed in an unapologetic way. Something that shows your sexual side and a desire to see her again.



The examples I’m including here are real-life messages from my Academy Whatsapp Thread.  (For all the guys in my Academy – a 12-week course that runs 2-3 times a year, they get me on hand 24/7 for ‘WhatsApp Support!’). This message was sent by one of my Academy recruits who is now progressing onto coaching for me. He’d had an awesome date with a woman. However, as they parted company he was struck with the annoying feeling that she wanted more. The message we crafted together is suggestive and authoritative.

Women DO NOT tend to respond to explicit messages well, it’s just crude. You’ll find she sexually enjoys it though when a guy implies his strong desire for her. This is the perfect text to send her after a first date where you didn’t flirt as much as you could have done.


Text after first date example:perfect text

Remind me to convince you to stay out longer next time

This message suggests something sexual. It assumes you’re going to see her again and has an authoritative tone. It’s sexy without being rude.

You’ll also notice the second image is a little advice I gave in the Whatsapp thread. It boils down to, if you like her, follow up with her! Especially if you’re looking to build a relationship. It would really, really put me off a guy if he didn’t message me following our date for a couple of days. I’d assume he wasn’t interested and my guard would go up. Dating can be a minefield and one of the best ways you can allow her to open up is to be consistent, honest and clear in your intentions.


So don’t shy away next time…

Many men I’ve encountered through coaching and other things that I’ve done have felt such incredible degrees of frustration about not being able to get second date. If you can get first date but those first dates never translate into a second date it can feel frustrating. Being constantly stuck on the same level of the process does not mean you are a bad dater. 

Sometimes, even if the date was great and there was a lot of connection you might miss on the second date. If you do not follow up with her after the date with even a simple message such as: “I had really nice time tonight.” or “I hope you got home safely.” if she is having any reservations about you this play against you.

Rules for a perfect text (general)

When it comes to dating successfully there are very few ‘rules’. If there were, why would the people who always seem to get what they want from relationships never stick to them?

Some guys can burn the rule book- and still be successful- but if you’re a guy that doesn’t have a 100% batting average then these ‘rules’ (or shall we call them guidelines?) are well worth sticking to. I call them 10 Golden Rules of Texting for Dating.

  1. Don’t ask vague questions

  2. Be specific

  3. Make decisions

  4. Use strong language

  5. Don’t accept second place

  6. Mirror her levels of investment

  7. Match her ratio

  8. Act nonchalant if she says ‘no’

  9. Try a low commitment date first

  10. Go for it!

Forget the lessons of the past where you should wait couple of days before you reach out to her (especially if you met online and already exchanged a lot of messages before meeting). Don’t be afraid to say just how much you enjoyed her company. Be playful and build the anticipation for your next date!

If you would like my advice on your text messages all you need to do is email me h[email protected]. One of my team will get back to you asap 🙂


perfect text

3 surprising reasons why she didn’t want to go on a second date with you

hayley quinn

1. You don’t have momentum

For whatever reason (maybe you’re on holiday or she’s on holiday) there is gonna be a big gap between date 1 and date 2. DO NOT message her 24/7 like she is your girlfriend. DO say to her on the date it’s been great seeing you. Have an amazing trip and I’ll give you a call when you get back.

hayley quinn

2. The date was good but not great

The date was good but not great

hayley quinn

3. Message to attach a behaviour that you’re going to do on the next date

A way to create this spike of excitement and interest I want you to be brave. On the date you can find yourself talking about a subject whether it’s traveling or doing some activity and you can say: ‘When I take you out next time we’re gonna do dub dub dub dub dub’


Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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