Confidence Building

An awkward way to get him to speak to you

April 27, 2015
▪ 1 mins read

How acting different can become a positive thing

I think I'm not alone here to say that most of us are positively ALLERGIC to feeling awkward. Of being judged socially, of being perceived as needy/ desperate/ too much by men.  

When I'm working with my clients one of the things that surprises me the most is how much these self-conscious feelings affect us. And how they can directly block the awesome confidence-building activities that enable you to meet Mr Right.  

You can have the best eye contact with the hottest guy. And yet, your sexy night at the lounge bar can wind up more like a Mexican standoff than a flirtatious episode!

So last night my client and I tried something revelatory:

  • We moved closer to the guys so we were all of one foot away!
  • We made eye contact.
  • And I (like the biggest goofball known to man) raised my glass to cheers.

They then said 'hi'- we returned the hello. Miraculously once the awkwardness of the conversation had passed (ok there were two painful seconds, a little like getting a flu jab at the doctor's) we flowed into a fun, flirty conversation.  

At no point did I feel like we'd 'given the game away' or not 'acted with enough mystery'. Instead, it was like 'sweet this is so much more fun than standing over there!'

So don't stop yourself!

Don't censor yourself and don't do something because you're worried about what everyone else may think!  

Life tends to favour the brave!

To learn more about how you can say hello without being awkward- there's a whole free ebook on it in my member's area - grab a 7-day trial right here x

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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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