Being a complete (& unique) woman
How to be a well-balanced, 360-degree well-rounded woman? In this Love HQ podcast episode, I interviewed one of my dear friends Pau (Unconventional Convention), who is a multiple business owner, a tech entrepreneur, an events-organiser and a burlesque dancer! She is a fabulous example of a well-rounded, 360-degree woman.
So, what do I mean by a well-rounded woman?
Well, this topic is important to me because so many women struggle to fit into a category of femininity that is socially-defined and urges you to behave, think and look a certain way. You might even feel that because you don’t belong in this category, men won’t find you attractive or want to date you....
A lot of dating advice is very rigid in teaching you to be this pristine version of femininity. As Pau explained, society urges women to "have different areas of your life divided. If you meet someone at an after-work party you are meant to talk business but if you meet someone at a Burlesque party you’re meant to act as a wild girl". The tendency to define your every-day life and, depending on the situation, control sides of your personality that are not compatible with it, has a long history.
In fact, it has been around since Ancient Greece: there were different people to have different to have fun with, to have intellectual conversations with or be business with. Yet, the people you enjoy spending time with are people that can do all the above!
As Pau explained: "What I’ve learned is that you’re most powerful when you allow for all the things that you actually are to be part of your everyday life."
Being your authentic self
So, let’s spin this mindset around. If being a 360-degree woman with loads of different hobbies and interests makes you feel that you’re not dateable, the reality is that you’re only not dateable for the closed-minded men out there!
Being 100% authentic and true to yourself, creates the most amazing filter. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about flaunting it all. Instead, it’s about being in touch with who you are and what you like to do. This will help you attract people interested in you and see the world in the same way. People that will love you for who you are.
It also shows strength: you’re not afraid of who you are.
In fact, people will feel more comfortable talking to you and getting to know you if you disclose some bits and pieces about yourself too! The truth is, men, struggle to keep up an image of masculinity too because they have been taught that being a confident, alpha male is what women want. Thus, by being more open about who you are and relaxed, you can re-adjust the balance in the conversation and inspire him to be his authentic self as well.
A final tip?
This also applies to online dating! Go through your profile and notice if you’re being open in communicating different aspects of your personality. Read through what you have written and change any detail that sounds generic with something more personal. For example, if your profile says that you like travelling and eating at restaurants, name that travelling experience and name that restaurant! You might put some people off, but you show who you are...
... and remember: whoever you are, you’re cool!
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