There is a general belief that if a guy wants to meet you late at night it’s for a hookup. And I guess if a guy is travelling to meet up with you after 9 pm, then he probably wouldn’t say no… but crucially you have to stop interpreting his actions as only meaning ‘one thing’.
There has been a ton of bad dating advice out there, which has told you that:
There are mystical ‘rules’ of engagement that you can ignore at your peril.
Every action a guy takes means something.
He already has a predetermined agenda that isn’t at all influenced by the connection he experiences when he meets you.
You have no boundaries and are liable to be seduced by any post-9pm man.
All men want is sex.
These messages are drifting around everywhere: movies, TV shows, magazines, books and (disreputable!) blogs.
Whilst, of course, it might be nice if there was a ‘cut off time’ for decent guys versus scoundrels with hectic working schedules, more choice in who you date, and a large variety of possible relationship types that you can have… nothing is ever quite so simple.
So next time a guy requests a late-night meet (hookup) just remember to:
1. Keep the time frame short ‘just one drink’ allows you to escape elegantly if you don’t like his style.
2. Know your own boundaries. If you don’t like how you feel after one night stands then just don’t go there. It really is that simple.
3. Clearly communicate your expectations ‘Happy to meet at 9 pm – no late-night flirting though ;)’ or ‘I will turn into a pumpkin at 10:30 pm, but if you want to come to see me for one, great’.
And most importantly remember that if a guy meets a woman he really thinks is WOW then no matter how he might have felt on the way over to date… his intentions can and will change, as long as you clearly communicate what you want.
To become great at knowing how to say NO to the wrong guys and yes to the right ones check out my dedicated Hayley Quinn Club
Hello from Hollywood! Today I am joined by JT Tran, the founder of the ABCs of Attraction. I know that he’s got amazing detailed advice that has been helping loads of guys out. I've seen his success around the world! I want to talk to him about feeling attracted to the guys that shorter than me and dating as a shorter guy. And I am talking, significantly shorter but having something about them that makes them intangible when it comes to their hotness. Disclaimer: the interview was edited in transcription to suit the written media There's something these guys are doing here that's getting to women. But I also know from working with guys that height is one of those big things that women talk about. There's lots of the idea that women select upon hight. And it's easy for guys to feel, especially with what's in the mainstream media…
If you are over 40 and want to meet a man, tell me do you recognise yourself in the following. I work with so many women who live under the belief that all men over 40 are either: Already married. And you're not in the boyfriend stealing market. As above and a terrible cheat. Stuck to their couch with their slippers on. This means for the vivacious, independent 40-something the question looms large 'where have all the men gone?' I do admit that men over 40 are quite a rare beast to find, but really they do exist. You just need a few tricks to look for them... 1. Understand now that this man that you require is unlikely to be a social butterfly. For some reason, men don't think 'I really want to meet a woman so I'll join a yoga club and see how it goes' chances are…
Hello from Hollywood! Today I am joined by JT Tran, the founder of the ABCs of Attraction. I know that he’s got amazing detailed advice that has been helping loads of guys out. I've seen his success around the world! I want to talk to him about feeling attracted to the guys that shorter than me and dating as a shorter guy. And I am talking, significantly shorter but having something about them that makes them intangible when it comes to their hotness. Disclaimer: the interview was edited in transcription to suit the written media There's something these guys are doing here that's getting to women. But I also know from working with guys that height is one of those big things that women talk about. There's lots of the idea that women select upon hight. And it's easy for guys to feel, especially with what's in the mainstream media…
Hayley Quinn
Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.
She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.
Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.
Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.
Download this free 3 part video mini series that will give you the confidence and clarity to date on your terms.
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