Late-night meets seem to scream– HOOKUPS.
There is a general belief that if a guy wants to meet you late at night it’s for a hookup. And I guess if a guy is travelling to meet up with you after 9 pm, then he probably wouldn’t say no… but crucially you have to stop interpreting his actions as only meaning ‘one thing’.
There has been a ton of bad dating advice out there, which has told you that:
- There are mystical ‘rules’ of engagement that you can ignore at your peril.
- Every action a guy takes means something.
- He already has a predetermined agenda that isn’t at all influenced by the connection he experiences when he meets you.
- You have no boundaries and are liable to be seduced by any post-9pm man.
- All men want is sex.
These messages are drifting around everywhere: movies, TV shows, magazines, books and (disreputable!) blogs.
Whilst, of course, it might be nice if there was a ‘cut off time’ for decent guys versus scoundrels with hectic working schedules, more choice in who you date, and a large variety of possible relationship types that you can have… nothing is ever quite so simple.
So next time a guy requests a late-night meet (hookup) just remember to:
1. Keep the time frame short ‘just one drink’ allows you to escape elegantly if you don’t like his style.
2. Know your own boundaries. If you don’t like how you feel after one night stands then just don’t go there. It really is that simple.
3. Clearly communicate your expectations ‘Happy to meet at 9 pm – no late-night flirting though ;)’ or ‘I will turn into a pumpkin at 10:30 pm, but if you want to come to see me for one, great’.
And most importantly remember that if a guy meets a woman he really thinks is WOW then no matter how he might have felt on the way over to date… his intentions can and will change, as long as you clearly communicate what you want.
To become great at knowing how to say NO to the wrong guys and yes to the right ones check out my dedicated Hayley Quinn Club
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