Dating has changed (again).
If you thought that modern dating was confusing enough, try adding in dating during coronavirus. Modern dating had already left behind the traditional playbook for how to build relationships. It has also introduced a need to have `the conversation’ before things become `official’. Some feel emancipated, others frustrated, by the new options we have before us.
Technology has also had a major impact on how we meet people. Dating apps and instant messaging mean that we are now constantly connected. That is until we decided to suddenly disconnect and ghost... or zombie... and how about breadcrumb? And bench?
Every week brings a new dating trend: and the latest is about how to date during coronavirus.
Safe distancing & dating?
Pandemic dating doesn’t sound like it would be much fun. As we imagine human intimacy scrambling over the hurdle of a virus that tells us to self isolate, shut our public spaces, and makes us anxious for our families and our incomes.
But... rather than 2020 being a wipeout for your dating life, I believe there are changes that coronavirus will prompt us to make. And they could help our dating lives long run.
If we can get past the initial frustration of not being able to message someone one moment, and meet them the next, then the dating during coronavirus could have some upsides....
Long have people complained that modern dating causes us to make (very) hard and fast decisions about who we’re attracted to. We can dismiss people based on a badly curated online profile, or a nervous first 5 minutes of a date. In our search for the perfect match: I believe a lot of the time we miss out on the good potential for a real relationship.
In short 'courtship' can be a good leveller in making better decisions about who you should date. Or being recognised as a good person to date.
Not many people are great at approaching one another in person, being swashbuckling on a date, or sassy on messages (I should know!). But if we constantly expect perfection, rather than analysing our own shortcomings, we may never meet the person we want.
Dating during coronavirus is going to slow down a lot of things: but whilst the economy grinding to stand still is cause for concern, slow dating could be great for our love lives.
If we had to take longer doing the due diligence of getting to know someone chances are our decisions would be better: so maybe being forced to just talk for weeks on end is no bad thing.
If you struggle with finding you always manage to invest your time in just the wrong person this could be a game-changer. It may make you focus on communication, consistency and connection rather than an initial spark.
Sparks can also be created in more original ways too! If you’re someone who worries about losing someone’s interest over a long period where you can’t see them now could be a time to get creative and work on your communication skills.
Whether it’s playing charades with your Skype date, video calls, voice notes or quarantine day 10 videos in confinement we have a lot of room to use our ingenuity. Who does well at making that first impression on their dating site profiles? Or their video calls? Those will be the people who are brave enough to ditch the small talk and stand out from the crowd.
Likewise, if someone sends a `hey wanna meet up quick?’ message you can be relatively certain they’re not going to be the most respectful of your boundaries.
(And even if you’re not in total lockdown and can meet, I think it’s going to be good dating during coronavirus etiquette to give people options.)
And the same goes for your ex who sends an opportunistic `how are you?’ message.
Instead of going back over old ground (and life lessons) can you choose to make this time about what you can learn? Can you develop yourself as a person to be more attractive, well balanced and sorted on the other side?
Put simply whilst everyone else is watching Netflix: can you accelerate your learning? Can you be purposeful?
The final piece of advice for dating during coronavirus
Dating doesn’t have to stop but it does have to learn some lessons... as one thing is guaranteed, that our desire for human intimacy and connection should only grow stronger during this time.
So the question won’t be `can it happen?’ but HOW.
Choose to learn online with me at www.hayleyquinnclub.com