Confidence Building

How to Tell if He's Single

June 4, 2015
▪ 2 mins read

All the single lads!

You have an amazing conversation at the bar, in fact, you totally click, and before you know it he's bought you a drink and an hour has passed. You feel lucky to have stumbled upon an amazing single guy and...  

Then you notice his left hand and feel so disappointed.  

It can be incredibly hard to tell if a guy is single. Especially when he doesn't wear a wedding ring! Or if he is long term cohabiting, or simply enjoys flirting with you so neglecting to let you know that he's unavailable.  

Of course, you don't want to just come right out there and ask him if he's single as that seems a little forceful right? And the last thing you want to do to a potential guy appears too full on.  

To work around this I need you to make one mindset shift and use one practical technique to figure out efficiently if he's single or not.


Instead of thinking 'if I talk about relationship status's this makes me needy/desperate/ too interested' I want you to know that being SINGLE AND COMFORTABLE WITH THAT is sexy, and just because you're both single does not equate to you heading home with him that night. If that's the conclusion he comes to, then that's a pretty good sign he's not a keeper for you anyway.  

So how do you establish that you're both single (or not)? How to do it in a way that isn't as awkward to work into the conversation?


The best thing to do here is to use the Go First Principle to establish what your status is. Then listen out for his 'echo' of a response.  

If you haven't read about the Go First Principle yet in my Hayley Quinn Club it's all about sharing information from your side first, instead of asking him a question. 90% of the time he'll then organically respond with the same information.  

eg. 'I love living by myself - I've got my living space just how I want it.'  

'I went on the most hilarious bad date a few weeks ago.'  

These are all positive ways to say 'hey, I'm single!' without coming across as too forceful.  

Then you just need to listen and most of the time the man will clarify that you're single, and add in a comment which tells you he is if he is unattached and interested.  

So forget wasting your time on guys that want to flirt with you for an hour and then go home to their wives, and start establishing early on if this guy is worth your time.

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

Stay connected with Hayley
Hayley Quinn Wingman Club left-facing wing icon
By clicking “Accept”, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyse site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Privacy Policy.