Dating Tips
For Men

Don't blame her if she doesn't like you (yet)

April 14, 2015
▪ 2 mins read

You want her to fancy you?

If you think that she is to blame for not liking you, think again. I hear so many criticisms from guys (and you might say the same!) because women:

  • Only see them as a friend
  • Only want to do business with them
  • Are only interested in one thing (& that's NOT being romantically or sexually involved)

If you're guilty of these 'complaints' it's time to snap out of it now and take some power back.

Because you can't blame her if...

  • You've only known her through work/ school/ business and never aimed to meet her on personal terms.
  • You've never told her that you liked her.
  • The dynamic between you has been established as friends/ acquaintances/ colleagues for weeks/ months/ YEARS.

I get that you've probably held back because you don't want her to reject you/she's unavailable/ 'you know' she doesn't like you 'in that way'.

But right now (and I'm going to be honest because I want you to snap out of it!) you're setting yourself up to be a victim. Instead, you need to take action. Maybe this current situation has gone past the P.O.N.R. but you can right your wrongs for the future.

In the future, if you like a woman and are attracted to her make it your goal to let her know about it in the first interaction you have...not when you've got to know her better, not when you've figured out if she's dating someone else, not when you've become friends first.

It doesn't have to be a big deal...

Any of the following statements is going to be good for you to use to show you're attracted to her in that way a man likes a woman- without going overboard and weirding her out:

  • You look great today btw
  • I'm impressed - you have a sense of humour and a smile to go with it
  • You're very dynamic you know
  • Typically I've wound up talking to an attractive woman when I have to get back to work
  • You're not like most of the women I meet around here
  • Bonus points for managing to look good on the coldest day yet btw

Keep it CASUAL and NO BIG DEAL. You're not telling her you to want to marry her- you're just stating the obvious that you're attracted to her.

If you want more ways to say hi in whatever scenario you're in then you need to watch my FAILPROOF APPROACH video series - available for free (alongside all my other products!) at the Hayley Quinn Club.

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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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