Dating Tips
For Men

Factors influencing how sexy you are to girls

January 13, 2015
▪ 2 mins read

For women, looks ain’t all that important

Women differ to most men (not you, I hope, high standards please) in that they have mental lists as long as their arm about what they desire in a future partner. Usually how sexy you are, does not make it on there. Just like the Shania Twain song `That don’t impress me much.’

So what do women find sexy, and what do they ideally look for in men..?

Are you ready for a list?! I asked some of my female clients what they wanted and this is what they said...

1. Confidence.

That doesn’t mean being arrogant, or loud. It means knowing where you’re at and having self-esteem.

2. Passion.

Girls love guys who are passionate about what they’re doing with their lives. Going for something with enthusiasm is important.

3. Masculinity.

Women do like to feel like women. We can only do that if you guys take the lead from time to time. This doesn’t patronise a woman but it does make us see you as potentially sexy men.

4. Social soft skills.

We want to introduce you to our friends and family, so an ability to blend into different situations and connect with people is important.

5. A GSOH.

If you can make a woman laugh you show wit, self-assurance and vulnerability. What a great trinity for women thinking you’re hot.

6. Intelligence.

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist but you do need to be able to bring new ideas into a conversation and have something to share that we may never have thought of before (look out for future blogs I’m sharing about how to make `guy’ subjects girl friendly and engaging.)

7. Sexual presence.

A guy who pussyfoots around sex and can’t tell us he thinks were sexy who we could never imagine ripping our clothes off in a million years is never going to be hot.

8. Perception.

Can you see something in her that everyone else has missed? Can you look beyond the superficial into something deeper? Then she’ll be engaged with everything you have to say.

9. Connection.

Can you talk to her beyond that superficial level? Do you understand who she is? Are your values similar? Can you stay up and talk all night?

10. Integrity.

A man who does what he says and keeps his word is fundamental to trust. Men who deceive are weak, guys who use lines are insecure.

And I could keep going..!

So here’s what to take from this list:

  • If you’re worried about how you look, backburner that thought, and refocus on the qualities you possess that can rock her world.
  • Women have high standards and will be most attracted to men who exhibit (through how they approach and communicate with a woman) that they share the same values.

This is a fundamental principle of my teaching and something that you should have at the forefront of your mind when meeting women.

If you want to find more, join Hayley Quinn Club today!

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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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