How to Communicate with Your Girlfriend

Attraction HQ episode 8


Hey guys, it’s Haley Quinn here and I’m back with another episode of Attraction HQ, the epicentre of dating and love advice from really (not to drone on about this) the female perspective. This is women approved ethical stuff that also focuses actually on really good technical and practical steps that you can do to meet women. It’s a fusion of women advice and insight into female psychology and also cutting edge skills which may be swiped a little bit from the pickup world.


Do you know how to communicate?



Joining me today is the amazingly talented, very interesting coach and performer Ashley. Just to give you a bit of backstory here. Ashley and I used to work together about, was it like five years ago?



No, like seven?


Well, no, we’re getting so old. We’re getting really old. I feel like the wrinkles coming on my face as I’m talking about this. Oh, yeah. We used to work together. So we used to work together at the institution that was a pickup artist training. Oh, yeah. And can you imagine like a bunch- just to give you set the scene for you guys that are listening to this. This is where we learned.

We learned the hard way about how to coach and actually what really works with women and men and approaching and social dynamics and relationships. Because our basic job was that we would have to go there’d be these two guys that would come in live in a flat in the middle of London every week. They’d stay for a week and we would take them out for six or eight-hour shifts, either during day and night. I liked the day shift. That was my fave.

But sometimes you got the brutal night shift, which ended at four o’clock in the morning. And our sole responsibility was to make sure that whoever we were paired with whoever we were coaching, they got the number, they approach the women, and we even got a 50 quid bonus if they got a kiss.



Yeah, no if they’d gone as it was called late, right? Yeah, they got 10 pounds they got a kiss. Unless it changed by the time I because I was leaving you, you will come up. That’s when you were more in so much changed.



Yeah, as you can see, it was a highly ethical fee structure is what we’re getting. Since then, obviously, we’ve guilty laughter. We’ve moved on to like, brighter and more ethical things. But the fact remains that if you want to know some stuff about social skills, we’re here to bring it to you and you know, Ashley’s worth doing coaching independently and also some work with me and my events as well.

And we were having a quite a long chat before we started the podcast. That was the case. We got absorbed a little bit at the moment. And what was coming up for us today we want to talk to you about was that shift in communication between when she goes from being the girl that you’re kind of seeing or someone like on the periphery of your life to your girlfriend? Yeah. dum dum.



Yeah, it’s a very different kind of stuff, yeah, it’s a different kind of experience, and how you might relate to the women you’re dating. Could be very simple. Easy, you know, your boundaries, you know, where you start, I think is a boundary thing as well, right? There are certain boundaries you picked up on and you’re more used to because you’re in that arena more often.



Right? So you’re thinking, you’re thinking basically, this woman is with the communications got a bit out of whack. We’re not connecting. You know what I’ve just started seeing her. Don’t mean we relate to that level. So it’s probably best that we may be just yeah, cool it off and stop seeing each other. Yeah. And that’s a very simple one-way solution to things. Obviously, in a relationship, this strategy doesn’t work.



No, because then you just continue to be into relationships like literally one after the other.



Right? Because you will never meet someone where you can. And this is the thing I want to bring up for you guys. Right? I find a lot of the time that people both men and women can be I would say, rigid and idealistic when it comes to relationship styles, ie, they expect a person to tick all these boxes.

And then when the wisdom that you know that you agree on everything, there’s never any conflict, and I’m sorry unless you want to Stepford wife or robot and that ain’t gonna happen, not because you got it’s like, it looks like having another human being in your life. It’s like a wild animal. They’re gonna do their own, they’re gonna do their own thing. Yeah. And you will inevitably have points of like, conflict, obviously should be trying to pick someone there that’s relatively mitigated and that you generally get on with.


Thanks for reading! You can listen to the whole episode below! And if you want to learn more about what Ashley has to say about relationships and communications, make sure to join my Hayley Quinn Club where you can ask him questions in our forum!

Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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