For Men

How to get a woman to invest in dating you

April 27, 2018
▪ 5 mins read

How to get a woman to invest in you- it's not all about how to impress her, it's about connecting with her in a way that she wants to see you more

3 tips from a pro

Knowing how to get a woman to invest in dating you is essential to creating attraction.

You know that feeling of annoyance, "well I spoke to her for 5 minutes and got her number, and now she hasn’t replied to me". However, if you're being honest with yourself you also know that the conversation had all the fluidity of wardrobe being dragged down a flight of stairs. You just can’t ever seem to get the ball rolling! Some words come out and then a few others and then you ask, "so... do you er, come here often". Far from working out how to get her to invest in you, even when you're trying to talk to her you know that this isn't going anywhere very fast.

PP Questions

A telltale sign for not knowing how to get a woman to invest in dating you is asking a series of Prince Phillip questions.

They go a little something like this. "who are you? , "what do you do? And for how long?"

A huge problem with this is that it doesn’t allow her to divulge any emotion and for her to elaborate on those emotions.

Prince Phillip questions are conversational condoms. They stop any genuine connection is made. Instead, it’s a wall that blocks the person's positive emotions.

The reason what you are saying is so important is that you have to go through the same process as when she made a connection with her best friends.

For you to connect with her, you need to have the rapport of a friend and the enigma of a lover. The two mixed together will create attraction.

This feeling is the difference between her looking at the text and ignoring it, or looking at the text and responding, "Thursday night sounds great, where were you thinking?".

This is because when thinking of the interaction the two of you had, she will remember how good she felt talking you.

Not the thousand and one suit guys that talk about their bicep routine.

Avoid monologues 

Although this is a blog about her investment, the rules apply to a conversation with anyone.

I’m sure you know that feeling at work when Bob from HR is telling you how he once got his flight upgraded from economy to business and he has no idea about personal boundaries.

Your thinking, "I could press the fire alarm, I mean this is kind of an emergency".

This is because Bob from the HR is going to talk about himself despite how we are responding to it.

There is no decent rapport being built-in situations like these.

It’s a monologue that where only one party benefits.

However, if you learn the structure that we teach at the Hayley Quinn Academy, the people that you then start interacting with they will start to engage with you consistently on a deeper level.

Our coaching clients frequently get feedback on how much the woman enjoyed the date and it seemed different from what she had previously experienced.

This is because our student has a map of what to do in front of them. So when it comes time to stop that attractive woman on the street, they are reverting back to the Prince Phillip strategy.


3 pro tips

There are three really key elements to how to get a woman to invest in dating you that will really help to improve your interactions:

  1. How to get a woman to invest in dating you - Tip Emotive questions  

These types of questions are in reference to bringing that positive emotion to the surface.

If she’s doing this consistently with you, she will associate you as someone who she feels positive around.

This will be easier for her to rationalise seeing again and again because you make her feel good.

So rather than asking questions that have a yes or no answer to them, you can ask about it is about her work or hobby that attracted to that in the first place.

That’s a fairly basic emotive question but if you're on a date with the person as opposed to the first 5 minutes you spoke to them you could ask

If there were 3 qualities that you’d have to have in a partner, what would they be and why?

Questions like this will give you so much information into what a person feels deep inside of them rather than the sandwich talk on the surface.

  1. How to get her to invest in dating you - Tip Make a special request

Making a special request is asking someone specific from her for the date. It could be something along the lines of bringing an item of food, or it could be wearing something specific.

The actual content of what she wears or brings is not important but that fact she’s doing it is.

This will most likely prevent any flaking (her just not showing up!) on her end because she has gone to a little extra effort than usual.

It’s more unusual to do this but effective because you are standing out because of it.

In the same way personal trainers get people to pay upfront so I make it harder for them to cancel their gym sessions.

This method is a subtle way of getting her to invest in you by putting a deposit down on the date without having the flashing lights around it.

For example, I could say text the day before a date or the day of, "Could you do me a favour and notepad and pen with you, I’ll explain why when I see you : )".

Now that the women at least has the idea in her head of having to get something for the date, she is then less likely to cancel as she has made effort and therefore invest in it.

  1. How to get her to invest in you - Tip location, location, location

Changing location is great for her getting invested in you.

Spending time together in many different locations in a short space of time gives the illusion of more time spent together.

This makes her feel as if she has known a long time and is places you in a bracket of friendship and a potential partner.

She feels as if she has spent enough time with you that she has invested her time and her emotions in being with you.

At this point, she will feel far comfortable with any type of intimacy because the emotional rapport aspect has not been rushed.

This blog is written by TeamHQ coach Jack - if you have loved these tips then check out our blog on 7 ways to be more confident with women

And hit the button below to get a 7-day trial to our coaching club.

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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