How to Meet Women at Work
Let’s talk about meeting women at work!
Keep seeing gorgeous women at work, but unsure how to say ‘hi’ without seeming creepy? Then you need to read this post about flirting with women at work in a non-sleazy, honest way that will show you are a respectful gentleman*!
*I strongly suggest you read my new blog Dating After #MeToo where I wrote a segment about dating in the workplace!
Before we start, I cannot stress enough the importance of maintaining a safe environment for you coworkers. Before you try to pursue anyone romantically, make sure that their interests are reciprocated and if not- back off.
With that being said, the workplace has recently been an area in which men and women had the best chance of meeting each other. Let’s assume you do not work in a company where office relationships are out of the question and you have noticed a gorgeous woman in the office. Now, you might not be sure how to start speaking to her without making her feel uncomfortable or overstepping her boundaries.
I would advise that you need to go under the radar when you start speaking to her. You need to see what her response is like and give her time to trust you.
Step one: making a conversation
At work, she’ll feel socially self-conscious. She will want to focus on her job and will want to maintain her professional reputation. Whilst she may be ok to dance until dawn in a night club over the weekend, at work you can expect her to be focused, professional and looking out for a promotion more than a boyfriend.
So put thoughts of what could happen in the stationery cupboard to one side for a second, and instead focus on making conversation.
A great way to start chatting to her could be an ‘off the cuff’ observation you see happening around you.
‘I like how you’ve co-ordinated your shoes and handbag today’ (women do this all the time, so it makes for a nice opening compliment).
‘It’s funny how our boss always arrives late on a Friday morning. I wonder what she gets up to on a Thursday night?’ – share an ‘in’ joke that will help to bond you together.
‘I love how all the best biscuits always get eaten first!’ – comment on a situation that she will notice too. Take the thought out of her head and she will think you’re on the same wavelength.
‘I’m curious as to how you always get your deadlines in on time. I think I must like to lead a life on the edge as I’m always behind on my work!’ – the more specific your compliment can be to who she is as a person, instead of her physical appearance the better. Also always try to tell her a little bit about yourself, you want her to get to know you as a person too.
Step two: introduction
After you’ve started conversation introduce yourself. Don’t panic about having the most amazing conversation straight off the bat.
Just smile, maintain flirty eye contact and be ok to just make those two statements to her (one of the lines above and introducing yourself) before getting back to your work.
It would be unrealistic to have a seriously deep and meaningful conversation whilst you’re working. Instead aim for a series of short, fun interactions that build up over time.
Once you’ve made your ice breaker statement you can then start chatting to her much more frequently.
Step three: creating a connection
Now you’ve broken the ice here are a few tips to how to progress things further:
1. Always seek to understand who she is as a person. The attraction is far more likely to be built when you know how she feels about things, rather than just what she does. So don’t just talk about work- talk about if this was the job she always imagined she’d do, what her dreams are, and who her favourite colleagues are!
2. Combine making everyone in the office laugh with witty jokes about the photocopier, with being more sincere with her. Maintain heavier eye contact, and speak more thoughtfully to her in order to non verbally signal that you’re interested in her specifically.
3. People are attracted to people who have busy and engaging lives though so don’t drop the ball at work, or loiter around in case you bump into her. Instead of working on being a busy and dynamic person generally. Socialise, exercise and be an active, attractive person- the kind of person that women just want to be around.
Step four: asking her out
So when do you ask her out? Here are a few great signs! Is she
1. touches you (even lightly on the arm counts!)
2. spends ages talking to you.
3. initiates conversations.
4. tells you about how she feels about things
5. fidgets around you, preens herself or starts making more effort with her physical appearance
Even if you get great signals of her, keep it casual and suggest a post-work coffee to talk about that presentation. Keeping it relaxed allows you to sense how she’s feeling and gradually build towards going out for a date-date.
So hedge your bets before making your move and you never need to fear meeting women at work and to have a little office flirtation… as long as you continue to make her feel comfortable and show that you will only proceed if she is happy too!
To understand more about when is the right time to make your move, join our Hayley Quinn Club and learn about what the women in your life are really thinking!