How to pay a compliment to someone without ticking off your partner
Jealousy and insecurity
Complimenting other people while in a relationship should never be a cause for anger. If you worry about ticking off your partner when complimenting the looks of others, this could be for two reasons. You are either doing it wrong or your partner might have jealousy and insecurity problems.
Praising another person (or God forbid your ex) in front of your current partner is always a tricky one. And by tricky I mean, ‘likely to cause you physical harm’.
Physical compliments will nearly always get you a raised eyebrow; because they tap into our deepest insecurities- that you’re more attracted to another person.
Even the most secure person may feel irked if you compliment someone too directly: everyone likes to think that your partner only has eyes for you…
In fact, even complimenting another person’s personality may cause an ‘oh really?’ stare.
Now, I’m not trying to say that it’s ok to flip out at any compliment you may choose to give to another person- but it is a reaction that’s worth knowing how to deal with!
At the moment your partner is giving you the *did you just say that?* look it’s worth trying to flip your compliment into a backhanded compliment to them:
“Mia’s a sweet girl… too bad I only like a girl’s who know how to stand up to me.” or “John commands presence… which is nice but I like sharing the spot with people I like.”
“His hand are massive… but I bet you they don’t cuddle as nice as yours.” or “She has really amazing legs… though I’ve always been a sucker for petite girls.“
Repositioning your comment to give them the attention, and validation, your partner might crave will soothe the knee-jerk reaction. Keeping your tone teasing will also help to alter the tone of the conversation from ‘humph’ to ‘haha’.
Try to see your partner’s grumble as an expression of their insecurities instead of an outright attack on you.
If they have recently felt less confident in their appearance or found out you had a past affair (or a very sexy ex) then cut them a little slack to express themselves.
Work to make them feel loved and sexy. And you will receive the dividends of their security.
Simple things like occasionally greeting them with a ‘hey sexy’ and encouraging them to do more activities independently of you (and hopefully building some self-esteem in the process) should create a buffer of self-assurance so that they won’t freak next time.
In a 100% healthy relationship, your partner should really be cool with you complimenting another person, man or woman.
So early on in the dating phase if they ‘huffs’ about you praising someone else, then state clearly:
“Babe, there’s no need to frown about me complimenting another guy/girl- you should know by now I like you, and that I find how confident you are very sexy.”
It is ok for you to state what is acceptable behaviour, and what isn’t. Do it in a way that is also an expression of your intention towards them iso they don’t need to worry about you finding anyone else attractive.
This helps sets a precedent for the whole relationship that your partner should act in a self-assured, ‘cool’ way when you compliment people: because it is their confidence as your partner that you find most attractive.
Get this right- and you should be able to compliment others without ticking off your partner!
If you want to learn more about how you can have better, happier, stronger relationships with a partner in your life then check out Hayley Quinn Club and learn to make your relationships even more successful!