Learning to Farm and Not Hunt out Your Dates
This isn’t a call for you to suddenly go Vegan. It’s about adopting a powerful mindset that will help you to navigate the dating wilderness.
So here’s the thing most people (not just men) enter into dating like they are waiting to one-day cross paths with some awesome, sexy girl who will just click with them, approve of them and then hook up with them.
This causes so many problems… where do I even begin…
- If you see this awesome girl as an extremely scarce resource then it will feel disappointing when you meet a woman who fits the bill, and it doesn’t work out.
- It can create a tunnel vision where if a relationship doesn’t 100% work out you write them off and consider the time you invested in them wasted.
- You lookout for a woman who immediately APPROVES OF YOU. Just because… and believe you just have to approach women until one gives you this response, straight away.
Instead, the real way you develop profound and varied social relationships (which end up building the bridges to meeting someone great and recognising them when you do) is to farm rather than hunt.
How is farming different from hunting?
- You appreciate that there are lots of amazing connections to be had out there and that instead of offering ‘better’ or ‘worse’ propositions those propositions are simply different than one another. In the process of self-discovery, we work out which are better/ less suited to us.
- You know there are loads of people you can meet. If you’re not meeting enough people you need to meet more, and when you meet people (even if they’re not 100%!) welcome them into your life, have a curiosity for them, make connections and watch your social circle grow.
- Sometimes (in fact most of the time) she won’t get that feeling for you straight away. that is OK. Your job isn’t to seek automatic approval, but to build the bridges that overcome her hesitancy.
Being more speculative, developing more relationships, seeing how you relate to people, being non-judgemental, are assets to you meeting someone great.
There’s no one path…there’s no one One, but there are a lot of great relationships you can have. Learn to farm and not to hunt.