Dating Tips
For Men

The Number 1 Reason Your Approach Failed

June 2, 2014
▪ 2 mins read

Women do not know how attractive they are

The number 1 reason your approach failed is that the woman hasn’t realised why you’re talking to her.Sounds crazy but women don’t always know how attractive they are. Nor do they realise that every time a guy offers to help her, he is not thinking of her as a potential friend.

Approaches never work if the guy hesitated (read more about how to approach her in my blog). Or thought about it, and only gave that first hello `50%’. The woman knows what he was trying to do. And even if she got the message it was so unassertive, she found it easy to brush off.

When you first approach if she’s been thinking about what she’s going to make for dinner, she may not `get it’.

The classic symptom that your approach is failing

You are walking up to a woman who kind of looks at you and walks straight away. It means that you haven’t engaged her. She doesn’t understand what your intentions are full.

It also means that you’re not gaining any personal respect for yourself.When approaching somebody if you start speaking to her before you have complete engagement, it means that it’s already lowering your social status.

And what you are communicating is that you don’t expect their full attention. Or that what you have to say isn’t important.

Like if I’m giving a talk, I will not start speaking until everyone has sat listening. So it’s the same thing when a guy approaches a girl. So when I say you need her attention before your opener, I mean having her eye contact and her standing still.

What should you do?

So before you even think about saying your opening line, you make sure that she is stood still and you have her eye contact. That might mean that you have to touch her. It might mean that you need to project your voice a lot and say `hey’. Or that you might need to pause and stand strong before she makes that connection to you.

So the first step that all guys should be seeking to achieve before they say anything is that she has to be stood still and her eye contact has to be there.

Get these two items in place and your chances of that opening line having success are going to shoot right up.

p.s. This is the first step of my 5 step method to making your hello work every time method... keep a lookout at my YouTube for the full 5 step video series coming soon and never have your approach failed again.

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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