What if we treated cocaine like love?

Cocaine-like love

 

I have a theory that we all get a bit ‘cracked out’ on love. And not even the ‘good stuff’ usually it’s the bleak, toxic, unhealthy love that gets us all strung out. It’s a cocaine-like love.

The thing is love can be addictive. Arguably it’s the West’s biggest addiction. We LOVE love. We worship. Consume it. And get high just from the idea of it.

If you don’t think love is addictive then I want you to imagine what would happen if we took another drug (let’s choose a nihilistic one like cocaine) and treated it to the same PR campaign love gets.

 

1. So, first of all, let’s have a national day devoted to it.

Maybe February 15th is a good shout?

For a month before Feb 15th (National Cocaine Day) our shops are full of idealised images of coke consumption (probably scenes from ‘the wolf of wall street’ on the yacht before it all goes wrong).

You’re encouraged to give your favourite fellow junkie, I dunno, a disused house key?! And set aside an evening to devote yourself to getting high.

You have to pre-book at bars, who are all serving an overpriced sample menu, at least two weeks ahead.

 

2. Let’s also get working on the kids.

Because if you want to condition someone into a belief system you’ve got to start them young.

So gather them around from the time they’re able to sit upright and put them in front of an endless stream of movies and shows which have the same basic ‘Happily Ever After’ message.

The whole plot has to be: two people meet, they get high together once, then some drama ensues (maybe there’s a drug bust?) and they end up separated into two different youth detention centres. They grow up and with the help of some magical friends end up reunited and achieve the perfect high*

*I presume the movie stops at around the 2 am mark before things get really out of hand. Like we shouldn’t show them the hours between 3 am and 10 am. Or the next day in bed. Or ‘Suicide Tuesdays’ at the height of their come down because that would get a bit real.

 

3. Now let’s blitz social media.

Let’s all pretend that getting high is like the best thing ever, and there’s never any problems associated with it.

It’s all snorting coke off of stripper booties, champagne and crushing it. And everyone is doing it perfectly. There are no images of bloody noses, crumpled tissues, drawn curtains for you to compare the mess you’re in to.

You must be the worst addict ever. You’re not using it right. Everyone else is having a GREAT time you, on the other hand, have screwed it up again. There must be something wrong with you…

 

Now obviously drugs are bad. Don’t do drugs!

But I’m SERIOUS if you think for a second that we do an OK job of presenting the reality of love and relationships; that we teach ‘safe’ use; that we know the difference between healthy love and a toxic one I DON’T THINK SO.

So if you feel constantly ‘cracked out’ on love: your relationships are volatile, you never manage the ‘happily ever after’ and you assume everyone is doing it right, and you’re failing… YOU ARE BEING SUCKED IN.

I can tell you now:

• You have to learn how to say no to bad relationships and kick the addiction in the bud before it spirals out of hand.

• You have to know that real life is complex, it’s work, and you only get (relatively) plain sailing after doing a lot of work on yourself.

• Anyone who tells you: you’re being too picky, it will just happen ‘One Day’ or that you need to toughen up, is off the mark.

So it is my mission to bring you the truth about love – even if I have to write a blog that my mum would tell me off for. If you want to hear more of what I have to say, join my Hayley Quinn Club!

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