action plan

Your New Year Action Plan

Action plan for 2016


You know what? I am so glad 2015 is over. I don’t know if you’re with me on this one- I didn’t like that year very much. Actually I found it quite difficult. So it’s a new year, it’s a new start. And what a better way to prepare than to create an action plan!

This is one of two podcasts that I’m producing for you guys, where it’s me. Usually, I have a fantabulous guest on here, and we discuss all issues to do with sex, dating, love, social staff. But because I release my podcasts on a Friday I thought them fall over Christmas and New Year’s. So I’m going to go even more renegade than usual and take over my own personal airwaves and do a podcast from me to you.



It’s the season to be jolly


Those periods of time can be quite challenging. It’s easy to look back on a year and feel a bit let down. Or to not know quite the right step or the way to step forward into the future. So this Attraction HQ podcast today is about how to meet more women. It’s also about how to make the next year, way better than the last one. Even if last year was good, and you loved it, we’re still gonna try and top it this year. Let’s make 2016 amazing.

I have a few points I wanted to talk through today on how you can set goals. How you can maximise those opportunities, how you can feel the fear and do it anyway. So these are the steps you need to take for good 2016 to happen. I don’t know what your goal is. Do you want to meet more women? Do you want to meet one woman? Or you’d finally like to come over that fear of saying hi to women you like, to be able to express yourself better.



Action plan: Turning up

The first thing going to change your life in a very positive and good way in 2016 is turning up. Oh yes. A big difference I noticed between single men and women is that a single woman has all her time booked out. She’s got a thriving social circle. She doesn’t like to sit in by herself. Of course, she’s got loads of friends. There are social commitments, coffee dates, lunches, brunches, dinner at a friend’s house and parties that she wants to go to.

One of the few big leavers that a woman has in her life to meet more people is to show up to things. It’s to have more visibility, a bigger social life. She doesn’t think about how she can approach more people. In fact, she doesn’t think about that at all. But she does think about how she becomes more visible and how she can come across and meet more people. So she’ll be maintaining one hell of social life.

Single guys tend to be a bit rudderless. They don’t have the biggest social circle. They’ll be spending a lot of time by themselves, heading home from work, working long hours. He might be feeling tired. He might have some extra business projects or personal development projects. Or fitness projects on top of his day job, which leaves him flat out exhausted.

The result of this is that men and women never meet each other. She’s going out all the time looking for you. And you’re staying in thinking about how you can meet her. So the first thing you want to do is actually turn up to the events that are going on in your local area.


Next step

Spend an afternoon in the coffee shop with your laptop instead of spending it in your home. Go with your books in a public space. Join that fitness class you wanted to go to where she’s likely to be. You know what familiarity breeds attraction. If a woman is in a zone where she’s looking for a new partner, she’s going to look in her immediate areas and social circles. She’s going to keep one eye open for someone that looks like a good candidate.

There’s a lot to be said for turning up. One of the things I’d like you to turn up to is something that makes you have fun. Fun and playfulness are so important. If you’re on a date, there’s got to be a point where you’re laughing loads. One of the beautiful things about love and romance is it allows you to access a part of you that’s youthful, innocent, a part that laughs. We never get the chance to do that in our day to day lives.


Action Plan: Be silly

If you can be a bit silly, then we’re doing something wonderful. Make sure you’re at least laughing or making fun of yourself. Or finding the humour in one of the many difficult situations that life tends to throw at you. When you’re going out and doing stuff do something that allows you to not take yourself too seriously.

You’re struggling with your conversation skills with women because you’re getting stuck in a logical frame of mind. You’re trying to talk to them like you would to your clients and your colleagues. And, in fact, it’s a whole different gearshift. So instead, I want you to think about what can you do to introduce more fun into your life? What do you do to be silly?

If you’re struggling to get the words out when you meet a woman that you find attractive or you’re struggling to tease her, I bet there’s a lot of good that you can do. Tighten up the silliness factor in your everyday life.


Action Plan: Conquering fears

In line with that, do something you’re afraid of. It doesn’t have to do with meeting women. If you can get a bit better at conquering and managing your fears in other areas, it will give you an upward swing of momentum.

There’s a real thing about jumping in. Sometimes when you’re fearful, if you want to approach a woman you need to put one foot in front of the other and stride. In doing that, what you’re going to find is that it’s the moment, the build-up to the moment is the bit you don’t like. So feel some fear and jump in.


Action Plan: Altruism

Thing number four is do something nice for other people. You feel your self-esteem isn’t where it should be, or you find it hard to talk about yourself. You’re not as confident in dating as you are in other areas of your life. A lovely thing that you can do to build a bit of self-esteem and confidence is altruism. Do stuff for other people where you don’t expect to get anything in return. A little act of daily kindness. It’s a lovely thing to do.

It could be that you volunteer for a charity. If a friend’s not feeling well don’t wait to for them to ask you for help- offer it if. If there’s a little old lady that lives over in your the corridor, put up some shelves for her. Do something that has nothing to do with you. The feeling you get from giving is glittery and awesome.

If we’re always focused on ourselves, we can get in our own heads and be full of doubt and worry and anxiety. Particularly around women. In relationships, you need to get outside of your own brain. Do something in your physical body. Go for a run, go to the gym, or do something for someone else. That’s generally a very good tonic to getting rid of those feelings.



Action Plan: Daily Practice

The last thing I want you to think about, which is the crux of making 2016 great is to develop better daily practices. It’s good to do things every day, to make habits and to make sure you stick to them. You’ve flirted with the idea of getting better at meeting women but it’s never connected for you. I would imagine that’s because you’re not doing things with enough regularity.

In that sense, you’re not doing enough, that keeps the momentum going. You’re starting, stopping, giving it a month and forgetting everything that you’ve done. Rather than setting massive goals, the best thing is to do something every day. Something that is going to be helpful towards your goals. And that could be that you send three online dating messages out.

You could speak to one person a day. You might not see one person a day you’re attracted to. So let’s say, one person, man, woman or beast, you begin a conversation or be social. You’d try telling a joke every day to work on that playful, funny side. Something done every day is a lot better than saving up all your energy for one day of the week.


Bring it on 2016

When it comes to 2016, you can change everything and you can make this year as awesome as you want it to. A very wise thing I read recently is that it doesn’t get easier. It’s not 2016 is going to be better. But you know what? We can some lessons, we can roll with the punches better, we can get better at dealing with people. Better at letting stuff go, better at representing ourselves, and then 2016 will be better.

It’s not that the year gets better, you get better. And you can get better and you will get better on a day to day basis. If your mind is in the right space if it’s focused, concentrated, and you got your goals laid out, believe me, where there’s a will there’s a way. With the right motivation, you can change the world and you can start with changing your life.



Happy New Year guys! Have a really good one. And I’ll be seeing you through on the other side. Check back next week where I’ll be back with another Attraction HQ podcast, talking love, sex, dating and relationships from a totally different and weird perspective. 

In the meantime have a look at me Hayley Quinn Club site for the latest dating tips!



Hayley Quinn

Hayley Quinn is an internationally recognised dating coach and founder of the UK’s largest dating coaching company. She has over 2 Million views on her TED talk and over 100,000 YouTube subscribers.

She is the spokesperson for Match, the biggest online dating platform in the world. She has been featured on BBC1, Sky and Channel 4 and is a regular columnist for Cosmopolitan and a contributor to yahoo!style.

Her first fiction book “The Last First Date” has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book “Do This Not That” (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023.

Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating.

Phone: +447517915854
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