You’ve slung back a few martinis, laughed for hours, and worked out that you’re both huge Dr Who fans.There’s only one thing that can ruin the magic of this moment: and it’s the moment the bartender diplomatically places the bill folded down between you. Awkward looks are exchanged. He reaches for his wallet; you fumble in your purse and no one knows what’s the right thing to do. Should he pay or are you about to be splitting the bill?
Past vs Present
It used to all be so simple. The guy paid. Not just for the first date, but the car, the house, your upkeep for life. In exchange, you did the laundry, had the children and probably felt moderately frustrated with how much money he spent in the pub.
Now more women than ever are out-earning the men they date. We’re a proud Beyonce generation of `independent women’ who earn our own money, thank you very much.
So why is `chivalry’ still swoony? And why do we not automatically want to go Dutch?
After all, to complicate things further, it is the recession and no one has any money full stop right? Watch me argue the right for SPLITTING the bill here on the Alan Titchmarsh Show.
And as London's dating coach here are my tips on bill splitting etiquette.
1. Cheap dates rock
For one of all first dates shouldn’t cost a fortune. Going for dinner is outdated. What if you don’t click and have 3 courses to get through? Awkward. Plus who has the time for a 3-hour first date splurge on a weeknight (unless they are amazing)? So hedge your bets, keep it simple, grab a cocktail or an artisan coffee somewhere your date hasn’t heard of before and have an awesome date without a heavy bill.
2. Whoever asks who out should get the first round in.
Note: the person who asks the other one out doesn’t have to be the guy! It may not be traditional but most men are not only cool with a girl asking them out, but they enjoy it! So whoever makes the first move, buy around, as I think that’s good etiquette.
3. Look out for the flinch.
Even if you’re super comfortable with always picking up the tab, I’d suggest you’d want your date to offer to contribute (or at least have a good rummage in their wallet). This is a lovely reciprocal gesture which suggests future dates built on equality.
Because at the end of the day it’s not about the money, money, money; it’s all about the fact you both thought David Tennant was the best Doctor right?
For more REAL WORLD dating advice you can deal with check out my coaching page!