all curious human beings

Welcome, All Curious Human Beings. A Review of ‘Bi-Curious Me’

Being human. Being curious

Doing a documentary may seem like one long narcissistic binge but I had other motivations for putting my life way out there… I want to share with you why I did Channel 4 Documentary ‘Bi-Curious Me’ & the message I wanted to bring to you. So, welcome all curious human beings!

Every day I meet people who are searching for PERSONAL FREEDOM, HUMAN CONNECTION, SELF EXPRESSION.

And they feel trapped by WHAT THEY THINK THEY SHOULD DO or WHAT OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT THINK. They are FEELING LIKE THEY DON’T, CAN’T, WON’T GET THE LIFE THEY WANT. 

That’s not the way I believe anyone should live.

Here are some perspectives I wanted to share through ‘Bi-Curious Me’

1. Everyone deals with rejection:

The documentary began with me getting over REJECTION. Yup for anyone who thinks you become immune from rejection just because you’re female, young-ish, attractive-ish, dating coach-ish.

RUBBISH!!!! Everyone is vulnerable to those they care about. No one is bulletproof.

Which is why you shouldn’t even try to discover ‘tricks’ to perfect your ‘game’ so this never happens. Forget trying to be a robot, forget perfection, get out there and enjoy being a living, breathing, squishy human being. 

2. Everyone should value themselves:

Possibly the biggest piece of criticism I’ve faced for the documentary is:

She Loves herself

My response: well yes obviously! 

EVERYONE should believe they are unapologetically awesome, sexy and worthwhile as a human being.

F*ck self-deprecation, f*ck modesty, start f*cking loving who you are instead.

If you love you, if you think ‘YES I CAN’ then other people will AGREE.

Everyone should keep it real: I’m going, to be honest with you before I did the show I was wracked with limiting beliefs:

Will I be judged as promiscuous?

No one will want a relationship with me.

No one will ever accept me just as I am (frequently in sweatpants). They will just want something I’m not.

Will my family disapprove of me?

These are questions that every person or every orientation faces when they’re considering going after what their heart wants.

I decided I didn’t want to be part of the B-S about how women/people are supposed to ‘behave’.

I thought it was worth putting my (yes at times bikini-clad) butt on the line so that other people felt it was OK to be liberal, open and free. 

Behind the scene

Of course in an hour-long show there were somethings that you couldn’t see:

1. Life isn’t one long fiesta

I wasn’t born into a Miami beach party (thank God), I’ve been homeless, a victim of domestic violence, poor, overweight, bullied and down and out MANY TIMES.

Life isn’t ‘lucky’ to many people it’s about positivity, resilience and self-belief. 

2. Life isn’t about definitions

TV shows need labels.

A documentary about how it’s really difficult to define a sexual identity/ spectrum – why bother?

Isn’t a catchy title… Personally what I coach is about human beings and how we relate to one another.

Stuff definitions, they’re mostly unhelpful. Language can be a prison. Free yourself from it by accepting you & accepting that you are dynamic, fluid and can change.

3. Life isn’t a commodity

The biggest misunderstanding about having more ‘open’ relationships is that you just gobble people up and spit them out like appetisers.

NOT TRUE

Whether you have one or many significant connections doesn’t make you any more or less moral. It’s about how you treat people: and I’d always advise valuing connections more than numbers, your integrity more than an experience, and always striving to be honest about who you are and what you want. 

If you want to get to know more about how you can build that life and those relationships contact me. I read every email, respond as much as I can, and am always open to see if I can make my coaching work for you!

Welcome, all curious human beings!

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