Dating Tips
For Men

Being unconventionally sexy

November 7, 2015
▪ 3 mins read

A different kind of hot

Hayley Quinn talks to Pau: multiple business owner, tech entrepreneur, burlesque performer. This girl CAN. Under the umbrella of being unconventionally sexy topic, Puatalks to Hayley about:

  • Being accepting of every part of you
  • Accepting the alpha/ beta parts to your personality
  • Expressing your identity

The interview

In the grand tradition of inviting friends to talk to me. Today it's my great pleasure to be joined by the women who's life I want.


I want your life! So much fun and creative and celebs! I think we make a good match.


We do make a good team!

Pua is a multiple busy business owner, tech entrepreneur, and in her spare time, just for a laugh events organiser and burlesque performer? As you see, Pau is a mastermind of having 360-degree life. She's got cool multiple businesses. And then just for fun, she does something sexy and fun and frivolous on the side. Pau is organising something called The Unconventional Convention I've spoken about a bunch of times.

First of all, it is fun. Secondly, the interesting thing is, it prizes the individual.

We were chatting about what we want to talk to you guys about today. And the subject of being okay to get in touch with your feminine side and being a bit more vulnerable came up. This is something that I encountered, just with one of my clients yesterday. He's a tech guy by day and interior design enthusiasts by night.


And that's the stuff that makes him interesting. Again, if I got a geek guy chatting to me about his passion for interior design, I'll be in.


He asked if he should hide this? Did it make him too feminine? Guys worry about this stuff. What I find happening is a lot of self-censorships, ie, whether it's writing an online dating profile or your first date conversation, guys will just choose not to say stuff because. And usually, the stuff that they choose not to say is what adds the depth and the richness to the character. And any creative, sensitive, interesting, women will be really into.


That's what makes the wholeness of who you are. So instead of being the macho guy who's got it all together, when you want to chat up a girl... Particularly girl who's like Hayley or me, a quite strong-minded, strong-willed, may be quite intimidating to some guys. If you start talking to her about stuff that you're interested in, maybe show a bit of yours, a bit of your softer side.

Talk to her about a failure of yours. Some of the most interesting successful entrepreneurs I know are never afraid of talking about their failure. And that's how I know if it's a really interesting person. If somebody can tell about a disaster and what they did and we have a laugh- that tells me this person is interesting and has got it more together than someone who had just talked about why they rock and what they've achieved.


Sometimes that makes people more trustworthy, more balanced, more rounded. If someone presents a continually consolidated, strong image, that's quite distressful. Someone who can't be vulnerable and has to be a superhuman all the time shows more insecurity.

A lot of the time when I'm thinking about it when guys show that vulnerability it makes you less one dimensional. It makes you more of an individual. The more of an individual you are, ok, not everybody's gonna like you. It's one of those ways that you stand out because individuality is unique, it's valued, and it raises your social value. Particularly if you take ownership over those qualities.

Whether it's like the guy who likes interior design, my ex-partner, he used to be the cool music dude, but in his spare time, he liked model railways.


He's got an interest. And he's not afraid to admit he's into this thing. As opposed to I'm doing well in my professional career, and I'm earning x y, z. Would you be interested to talk about that?


Find out my answer by listening to the whole podcast episode on the link below!

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About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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