Can your relationship survive the long-distance?
Going the distance
When it comes to long-distance dating, one of the most useful phrases I’ve ever learned about relationships is:
Desire always overcomes logistics.
This means ‘if there’s a will there’s a way’. If you want to make your long-distance relationship work (on both sides!) you can.
Of course close geographical proximity is dead useful for a few reasons.
Honeymoon phase exit
If you see someone more frequently you end up exiting the honeymoon phase faster. This is good news! The sooner you can square up to the reality of your partner… and hopefully still love them, the better.
Long-distance relationships can wind up with you carrying a fantasy holiday romance around in your brain for many long months (or years!) before working out that you can’t handle how inconsiderate they are when it comes to socks/ dishwashers/ your family.
You can establish a routine (and last minute late night snuggles) with a lot more ease and bond. You also don’t have to feel bad if you cannot make it for your date, you can simply reschedule for tomorrow instead of having to rebook your tickets.
You minimise miscommunications via WhatsApp. There is less need to “read into” messages and way more chance for face-to-face communication. Plus the general anxiety of ‘when can I see you again’ is almost eliminated.
Same city, one less problem
If you live in the same city there is one benefit you never think about! You never have to work out who’s going to move. This means that no one will have to give up on their familiar environment!
Because relationships can’t be long-distance forever. Ok, that’s not true, some can, each to their own etc. But the general expectation is that this is a ‘temporary thing’, a flurry of flights, weekends away and staring wistfully out of the window for a maximum period of one annum.
So when your ‘helpful’ friends tell you ‘it’ll never work’, ‘he’ll cheat’, ‘you’ll cheat’, this is obviously not necessarily true.
Plenty of people do long-distance and it works. Plenty does it and it fails. There isn’t a strict rule here.
What you do need to make it work though are a few things:
- Trust… oh this will be worse when you can’t cycle slowly past their house (kidding!) to see what they’re up to.
- Communication: even the steeliest independent woman type needs something back- so unless they’re able to be on the end of a phone/ Skype call to you then forget it.
- A willingness to make it work – a bridge has to be built from both sides, don’t slave away on one side only- the thing will progress weirdly and then collapse.
- An exit strategy… when you’ve worked out that this is on there need to be murmurings of a way out. A goal in sight.
If you would like to talk to me about your long-distance relationship, feel free to reach out to me and book your session!