Dating Tips
For Men

The Grey Area: What if she's a cheat?

February 20, 2013
▪ 2 mins read

If she cheats for you - Are you winning?

Imagine the scenario in which you wander into the grey area of dating. Here it goes:

You see a BEAUTIFUL woman.You approach her, start chatting, and 'wow!' she's super cool too! But... she's got a boyfriend! Undeterred you suggest a coffee- the date goes GREAT. A few weeks later, she's ditched her bad relationship, and now you're together!

But you don't feel SUCCESS or HAPPINESS. You feel ANXIOUS she'll cheat again(on you this time!), DOUBTFUL about who she is, and your DESIRE for her dies.

So was that a smart move?

First of all, I'd like to make a case for her 'cheating' on her ex by leaving him for you.

OF COURSE, cheating is dumb. It is uncool and unnecessary but cut the woman slack here...


  • She's been unhappy in her relationship for ages and LIKE MOST PEOPLE didn't have the courage to leave.
  • Sometimes it's tough to know 100% one relationship isn't working until you're presented with someone else you truly CONNECT with & feel ATTRACTED to.
  • You said 'hi' to her, you ignored the fact she had a boyfriend, you outmaneuvered her objections, you convinced her that she should give the connection between you guys a chance.

And now you're going to blame and doubt her?

Question your actions!

Maybe instead you should question your actions? Or (BETTER)- howwe currently define relationships, the way we treat one another, and whatINTEGRITY we want to create in the world.

There are better, truer, more realistic versions of relationships we can have.

But the change starts with YOU.

If cheating is a huge no go for you then don't hit on girls that have boyfriends...

If (like me) you think there's a moral grey area here, then take your chunk of responsibility for it, show empathy to others, recognize that people aren't PERFECT.

Change starts today

Work with me to say YES to a society where we can be more open about our thoughts, what we want so that we all have the COURAGE to scrap words like 'cheating' and 'lying' from the dictionary.


Ok, I'm sounding like a hippy now, so I'm going to go BUT if you want to talk practically, openly, and supportively about what's going on with you then you can right HERE.

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

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