2-part video series

How to Use Texts to Get Dates- Don't Demand a Date Straight Away

People don’t work well on logistical demands

Published 
September 14, 2011
Last Updated 

When you use texts to get a date, you need to keep in mind that it takes two to tango, or in our case, text! People have busy lives full of competing demands from work, friends, family, and now you texting them.If you’ve just chatted a girl up for 5 minutes in the street, unsurprisingly she may be hesitant to meet you again. I mean:

'Who is this guy?'

Sounds harsh, but that's what she may well be thinking.

You may be low on her priority list, and competing against a doctor’s appointment, a work deadline, or a friend going through a break-up. Think carefully. Was there that spark of sexual energy when you got her number? Did you make physical contact with her on your initial meeting? Has she texted you? In which case you can go in for a date.

If however:

  • You got her number in a rush
  • She seemed to hesitate before she gave it to you
  • It is unclear whether either of you was attracted to one another
  • You are even 10% uncertain that she’d want to go on a date with you

Don’t ask her out on your first text! Especially don’t write:

"Hey, Katy, what are you up to on Friday. Mat x"

This sucks because she doesn’t know what she’s signing up to! She has no idea what you want to do with her on Friday night, so she’ll give you a flaky commitment like:

"I may be free but I’m meant to be meeting my friend so will have to let you know x"

Which translates as:

"I’m not sure I know you that well. I think I’ll wait to see how I feel on Friday, what you come up with as a date and if I get any better offers."

So if you can’t jump straight into asking them out, what do you send them as a first text?

Well, I’d start by showing some interest in her as a person and by referencing your original conversation: this will help to remind her how cool you were, and how much she enjoyed meeting you. Also, drop-in detail of what you did after you met her.

This gives her loads of stuff for her to respond to. If she responds well then you can move onto the next step. You may want to check out my YouTube videos for tons of ideas of where to take the interaction next.

In this Q&A video, Hayley answers questions on texting and how to build stronger connections when going for the date.

Also always remember to text quickly after you’ve got the number. A couple of hours after you met if it was during the day: and the next afternoon if you met at night.

Avoid texting at night (people get drunk and forgetful and you don’t want to appear like you were up all night thinking about her).

AND always keep your text ratio 1:1.

Remember these tips and you will improve your chances of getting a text back and that all-important date. This is how you use texts to get dates!

P.S. You can always ask for texting advice by joining our Hayley Quinn Club!

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