Dating Tips
For Men

Three Ways to Pick Up a Latte... and Your Next Date

June 30, 2011
▪ 3 mins read

Forget waiting to hit a bar after work, or scouring a dating website in your lunch hour: get a date for the weekend before you hit your desk on Monday morning.

It’s time to be efficient and pick up a hot date at the same time that you grab your morning coffee. In case you hadn’t noticed, coffee shops are great places to meet girls: in the queue or drinking hot chocolate as they’re reading a Franzen novel.

In this blog post, I’m going to tell you my three top ways to pick up a girl in a coffee shop; so you can start your working week with a smirk on your face, a spring in your step and a new number in your phone...

1.Flirt with the regulars

If you go to the same coffee shop every day and always mean to chat with the cute girl that is picking her morning coffee at the same time, now is your chance. Luckily if you know she works close by, you know you’ve got a little time to build a connection with her. So don’t feel pressurised to go for her number straight away: instead, focus on gradually building up connection and attraction over a period of time.

Start with a compliment on her ordering style to break the ice:

"Hey, I like how you are clearly a coffeeholic just like me! It’s Alex by the way..."

Then smile and re-engage her every time your paths cross. Before long it will feel natural to say:

"You know what, I enjoy our little chats. Think next time we should aim for finishing our coffees together. Would you mind giving me your number and we’ll link up next week?"

Just remember to appreciate her limitations: never try to hold her inset for too long. Instead, build a connection over a series of interactions that always brighten her day.

2. Make an observation and start a conversation

"Hey, I couldn't help but notice you're reading a Jane Austen. I’m curious- do you really think she should have got together with Mr Darcy?"

"Hey you look really absorbed with what you’re writing; you’ve made me curious as to whether it’s a serious essay or a love story that you’re writing?"

"Hey, I like how you’ve sat right in the window, and are clearly spying on that couple over there! It’s ok though, I like people watching too."

Basically anything can be made into observation and a way to start a conversation. Remember it doesn’t have to be something crazily exciting. It can really be something very normal like what coffee she chose, where she’s sitting or what she’s reading. Just make your opening statement as detailed as possible to give her the best chance of becoming engaged with what you're saying.

3. Window shop for a date

Even if you’re not planning on popping into a coffee shop; instinctively have a quick look through the windows as you pass. You may just see a really cute girl, sat by herself, just waiting to be approached. And you know what? Nothing comes across as more romantic than being completely spontaneous:

"Hey I was just walking by on my way to work when I saw you in here, and just had to come and say hi."

Just remember to match head height with her (sit down with her if she’s sitting down) and be relaxed. The more chilled out you can be, the more at ease she’ll feel with being swept off her feet.

Start integrating these tips into your daily routine and you'll soon find there are lots of amazing people waiting to be dated at a coffee shop near you. To take your conversations to the next level read the blog written by HQ coach Jack, how to approach a woman in a coffee shop

If you want to discover more ways that you can easily improve your lifestyle to meet women, book your session with Hayley today and talk about your next date!

Hayley Quinn smiling profile
About the author

Hayley Quinn is a leading dating and relationship coach, with 3 million views of her TEDx talk and 18 million YouTube views. She is spokesperson for Match, a columnist for Cosmopolitan, a regular contributor to international media, and has been published by Harper Collins (“The Last First Date”, 2022) and Simon & Schuster (“Do This, Not That: Dating”, 2023).

Stay connected with Hayley
Newsletter icon
By clicking “Accept”, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyse site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Privacy Policy.